The Difficult Choice of Caring At Home

Yesterday, NPR ran a segment entitled “The True Cost of At-Home Caregiving.” The article brilliantly paints a portrait of what our clients and their families face each and every day. For many years, the accepted norm with regards to aging was that seniors would move in with their families when they were unable to live by themselves without assistance. Then the culture shifted. Parents began to place their children into daycare facilities and mother’s day out programs so that they could free themselves to pursue the all-important American dream. In return, when those parents aged, it became customary for their children to place them into nursing homes and facilities. As my father is fond of saying, “We placed our kids in institutions as soon as they were old enough so that we could be free to live our lives. Why are we surprised that, now that we are older and need assistance, they aren’t hesitating to return the favor?” However, the pendulum has swung back the other way. More and more families are making the difficult decision to move an aging parent into their homes and provide care themselves. This is due in no small part to the tremendous rise in the cost of caring for a senior in a facility. At first glance, a multi-generational living arrangement would seem to be a cost saver but, as any family caregiver will freely tell you, the cost is not always easy to see.
One of the things we recognize at Home Instead Senior Care, is the importance of the family caregiver. Many agencies address the needs of the client but largely ignore the person who many times needs our help the most, the family caregiver. It is one of my favorite questions to ask during an initial meeting. “How are you?” It is amazing to witness the reactions people have when they haven’t been asked that question in so long that they no longer know how to answer. Most of the time the family caregiver will deflect the question and continue to speak about the condition of their loved one. I ask again. “How are you?”
Caring for your loved one at home is a beautiful gift. It is also an extremely difficult task particularly where Alzheimer’s Disease or other dementias are present. Home Instead Senior Care can help. We work to give the respite care that families need on a short-term or recurring basis. We want daughters to be free to be daughters again.