The rumors are true. I have six children. Let me rephrase that. I have six, beautiful, perfectly healthy, intelligent sons. To say that I am blessed doesn't nearly encapsulate all that I have been given. The fact that my wife and I have brought six children into this world with little to no medical complications is miraculous. The fact that we have even been able to conceive six times is amazing. And yet, the one reaction that we consistently receive from those around us is pity. The pity is especially profound when people find out that we have six BOYS. "Oh you poor thing!" "You must have been just desperate for that girl." "Oh your poor wife!" And my personal favorite: "Don't y'all know what causes that?"
The last several weeks have been emotionally draining for me. I am, by nature, an empathetic person and tend to carry emotional baggage for the people in my life. There has lately been much baggage to carry. I have close friends that have lost babies, are facing the possibility of losing a baby, are facing the possibility of losing a young child, or have been trying desperately for years to have a child to no avail. Each night they come home to an empty nursery or find themselves curled up in a vinyl hospital chair praying that God will somehow intervene.
I believe that we live in a fallen world. I believe that this world was created perfect and pure and that because of our rebellion against the Creator things have deteriorated to this point. I believe that death and disease and sickness and heartbreak were not the Creator's intent. I believe that there is a battle being waged between good and evil because I see the evidence of it all around me. It is everywhere I look.
And then I see my children. I see my six, beautiful, perfectly healthy, intelligent sons. For whatever reason, God has gifted my wife and I with the ability to bring good things into this world. Each one of my sons stands in defiance of a world where babies die and people hurt. Their laughter and joy reminds us all of a purity lost but not forgotten. I have no doubt that we battle an enemy who seeks to kill and destroy. I have seen his victories in the lives of those who matter most to me. Each of my sons is a victory over his wicked agenda. Each of my sons is a reminder that the Creator of life has not forgotten us. In a cruel and dark world, they are a beacons of goodness and light. My children strengthen my hope in the God who promised that he will return and make all things new again.
And so for the people who seem so bewildered by the size of our family, for those who are perplexed by our ever-increasing brood, for those who in word and thought pity us for the "burden" we have to raise a large family, I would point you to the book of Psalms chapter 127 verses 3-5.
"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is a man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate."
My children are a blessing. They are a rich reward that someone else paid dearly for me to receive. I will cherish them as such and continue to welcome every blessing God chooses to send my way.
Monday, May 13, 2013
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Seventy-Seven Is Not Really That Old
When John Glenn was rocketed back into orbit at the sprightly age of 77 there were many differing takes on the situation. Many people celebrated the idea that our medical technology had advanced to the point that it was even possible to send a geriatric into space. Many people looked down on the idea as nothing more than a publicity stunt, intent to revive public interest in a beleaguered space program facing major budget cuts and possible extinction. Press conferences were an understandable blitz of questions from both sides of the issue and were emotionally taxing for the Astronaut turned Senator turned Astronaut. Rumor has it(although I can find no specific reference to it online) that at one point Senator Glenn became exasperated by the incessant questioning of one particular journalist. After the umpteenth pseudo-rhetorical question, Mr.Glenn had clearly had enough and raised his voice over the the din of the press corps saying: "Just because I am 76 doesn't mean that I don't still have dreams." The audience fell silent.
Aging has always been an arc. We begin life with little to no independent functionality and gradually gain the ability to live our life on our own. As the years go by, we pass the zenith of the arc and begin to gradually lose our independent functionality. It is the tragic reality with which man has contended since the dawning of time. Rev. Chris Osborne, pastor of Central Baptist Church in College Station, Tx ( Home of the Fightin' Texas Aggies. Whoop!) says that the reason that we so vehemently reject the concept of aging and seek to avoid our own deaths is that God has placed eternity on the hearts of men. We are designed with an eternal soul and anything that reminds us of our fallen state also reminds us that we are sojourners in this foreign land. I tend to agree.
However, we now find ourselves pushing into a brave new world where age no longer limits the human body in the way in which it once did. Fifty is the new forty. Sixty is the new fifty. Seventy is the new sixty and eighty is not really that old after all. This massive cultural shift requires nothing of those who find themselves a part of the aging demographic. They will just continue to do what they have been doing all along; living their lives. For the rest of us, it requires that we change the very core of how we think about aging. At Home Instead Senior Care, this is in our DNA. It is fundamental to everything we do. We are part of a movement that refuses to accept a 'less than' life. We are actively working to Change the Face of Aging. Daily we join with seniors and the families whom we serve to declare to all who will listen that we will not go quietly into the night! A new day has dawned and dreams can still come true.
Aging has always been an arc. We begin life with little to no independent functionality and gradually gain the ability to live our life on our own. As the years go by, we pass the zenith of the arc and begin to gradually lose our independent functionality. It is the tragic reality with which man has contended since the dawning of time. Rev. Chris Osborne, pastor of Central Baptist Church in College Station, Tx ( Home of the Fightin' Texas Aggies. Whoop!) says that the reason that we so vehemently reject the concept of aging and seek to avoid our own deaths is that God has placed eternity on the hearts of men. We are designed with an eternal soul and anything that reminds us of our fallen state also reminds us that we are sojourners in this foreign land. I tend to agree.
However, we now find ourselves pushing into a brave new world where age no longer limits the human body in the way in which it once did. Fifty is the new forty. Sixty is the new fifty. Seventy is the new sixty and eighty is not really that old after all. This massive cultural shift requires nothing of those who find themselves a part of the aging demographic. They will just continue to do what they have been doing all along; living their lives. For the rest of us, it requires that we change the very core of how we think about aging. At Home Instead Senior Care, this is in our DNA. It is fundamental to everything we do. We are part of a movement that refuses to accept a 'less than' life. We are actively working to Change the Face of Aging. Daily we join with seniors and the families whom we serve to declare to all who will listen that we will not go quietly into the night! A new day has dawned and dreams can still come true.
Friday, May 3, 2013
What Good is Long Term Care Insurance?
I have heard countless horror stories about insurance. It seemed to be ubiquitous during the debate leading up to the passage of the new healthcare law. Insurance companies are out to get us! Evil corporations are profiteering on the misfortune of others!
Unfortunately, the positive aspects of being insured never receive the same fanfare as the tales of woe which are politically useful when public servants are attempting to push an agenda. I suppose they don't make for interesting news stories. "Stay tuned to hear about how a father purchased insurance for his family and then received the benefit to which he was entitled when his son broke his arm at a middle school soccer game." Next.
At Home Instead Senior Care, I have the opportunity to visit with families each day who are faced with the fiscal reality of what it takes to provide quality care for their aging parents. Most are thrust into being a family caregiver without any warning or forethought. They wake up at 3am to a phone call letting them know that their relationship to their parents has forever changed. They thought they had more time. Many have no plan in place. As a result, they will spend the years to come in a constant tug-o-war between the desire to give their parents the best care available and the financial reality of providing that care. Sacrifices will be made. Compromises will be agreed upon. Regrets will endure.
Other families will never face that music. They will likely wake to the same phone call at 3am. Their lives will probably also change with little or no warning. They also thought that they had more time. But they have a plan in place. Years ago, their parents saw the proverbial writing on the wall and purchased a Long Term Care Insurance(LTCI) policy for themselves. Their children will still work to give them the best care available but will never be forced to make the same heartbreaking decisions as others in similar situations. They will have tools and resources at their disposal as a result of their parents' foresight.
There are horror stories about every type of insurance policy not providing benefits in the way in which it was expected but those stories are the rare exception and not the rule. The reality is that most of us go through life paying for insurance policies which protect us against things from which we will likely never suffer. Most people will live their lives without ever suffering a catastrophic injury or illness. And yet there is a tremendous sense of urgency to be insured 'just in case.' A LTCI Policy is the one type of policy that is not a 'just in case' arrangement. You will get older. You will need help. It is only a question of when. And when that time comes, how will your children provide for you?
Unfortunately, the positive aspects of being insured never receive the same fanfare as the tales of woe which are politically useful when public servants are attempting to push an agenda. I suppose they don't make for interesting news stories. "Stay tuned to hear about how a father purchased insurance for his family and then received the benefit to which he was entitled when his son broke his arm at a middle school soccer game." Next.
At Home Instead Senior Care, I have the opportunity to visit with families each day who are faced with the fiscal reality of what it takes to provide quality care for their aging parents. Most are thrust into being a family caregiver without any warning or forethought. They wake up at 3am to a phone call letting them know that their relationship to their parents has forever changed. They thought they had more time. Many have no plan in place. As a result, they will spend the years to come in a constant tug-o-war between the desire to give their parents the best care available and the financial reality of providing that care. Sacrifices will be made. Compromises will be agreed upon. Regrets will endure.
Other families will never face that music. They will likely wake to the same phone call at 3am. Their lives will probably also change with little or no warning. They also thought that they had more time. But they have a plan in place. Years ago, their parents saw the proverbial writing on the wall and purchased a Long Term Care Insurance(LTCI) policy for themselves. Their children will still work to give them the best care available but will never be forced to make the same heartbreaking decisions as others in similar situations. They will have tools and resources at their disposal as a result of their parents' foresight.
There are horror stories about every type of insurance policy not providing benefits in the way in which it was expected but those stories are the rare exception and not the rule. The reality is that most of us go through life paying for insurance policies which protect us against things from which we will likely never suffer. Most people will live their lives without ever suffering a catastrophic injury or illness. And yet there is a tremendous sense of urgency to be insured 'just in case.' A LTCI Policy is the one type of policy that is not a 'just in case' arrangement. You will get older. You will need help. It is only a question of when. And when that time comes, how will your children provide for you?
Thursday, May 2, 2013
The Difficult Choice of Caring At Home
Yesterday, NPR ran a segment entitled “The True Cost of At-Home Caregiving.”
The article brilliantly paints a portrait of what our clients and their
families face each and every day. For many years, the accepted norm
with regards to aging was that seniors would move in with their families
when they were unable to live by themselves without assistance. Then
the culture shifted. Parents began to place their children into daycare
facilities and mother’s day out programs so that they could free
themselves to pursue the all-important American dream. In return, when
those parents aged, it became customary for their children to place them
into nursing homes and facilities. As my father is fond of saying, “We
placed our kids in institutions as soon as they were old enough so that
we could be free to live our lives. Why are we surprised that, now that
we are older and need assistance, they aren’t hesitating to return the
favor?” However, the pendulum has swung back the other way. More and
more families are making the difficult decision to move an aging parent
into their homes and provide care themselves. This is due in no small
part to the tremendous rise in the cost of caring for a senior in a
facility. At first glance, a multi-generational living arrangement would
seem to be a cost saver but, as any family caregiver will freely tell
you, the cost is not always easy to see.
One of the things we recognize at Home Instead Senior Care, is the importance of the family caregiver. Many agencies address the needs of the client but largely ignore the person who many times needs our help the most, the family caregiver. It is one of my favorite questions to ask during an initial meeting. “How are you?” It is amazing to witness the reactions people have when they haven’t been asked that question in so long that they no longer know how to answer. Most of the time the family caregiver will deflect the question and continue to speak about the condition of their loved one. I ask again. “How are you?”
Caring for your loved one at home is a beautiful gift. It is also an extremely difficult task particularly where Alzheimer’s Disease or other dementias are present. Home Instead Senior Care can help. We work to give the respite care that families need on a short-term or recurring basis. We want daughters to be free to be daughters again.
One of the things we recognize at Home Instead Senior Care, is the importance of the family caregiver. Many agencies address the needs of the client but largely ignore the person who many times needs our help the most, the family caregiver. It is one of my favorite questions to ask during an initial meeting. “How are you?” It is amazing to witness the reactions people have when they haven’t been asked that question in so long that they no longer know how to answer. Most of the time the family caregiver will deflect the question and continue to speak about the condition of their loved one. I ask again. “How are you?”
Caring for your loved one at home is a beautiful gift. It is also an extremely difficult task particularly where Alzheimer’s Disease or other dementias are present. Home Instead Senior Care can help. We work to give the respite care that families need on a short-term or recurring basis. We want daughters to be free to be daughters again.
Monday, January 28, 2013
Carnivore with a Side of Vegan
As a professing Texan (as if there was any other kind), I soundly reject all aspects of the plant based approach to survival. In my mind, heaven looks like an amazing cookout. Jesus, Moses, Noah, Paul, John and I are all sitting on a deck somewhere in Texas in mid-April. Perfectly marbled, 2 inch thick rib-eye steaks are sizzling their way to a glorious medium-rare and some of Texas' finest craft beer waits to be poured while we talk theology and Aggie football. Paradise.
Yet the growing number of studies being publishing which detail the tremendous health risk of an animal based protein diet have certainly gotten my attention. I read them all online with a skeptic's eye and then quickly delete my browsing history lest someone should suspect me of considering them as a viable alternative to carnivorism.
Recently, I found myself watching an excerpt from a speech given by Neal Barnard MD. In this excerpt, Dr.Barnard speaks of the huge health risk that a diet high in saturated fat poses. He goes as far as to state that minimizing the levels of saturated and trans fat intake substantially lowers the risk for Alzheimer's Disease and Mild Cognitive Impairment. While I do not personally subscribe to some of the more extreme steps that he and many of his colleagues recommend for reasons previously stated, I do believe that our country consumes far too much meat and far too few vegetables. Watch the video below but tell no one you saw it here.
Yet the growing number of studies being publishing which detail the tremendous health risk of an animal based protein diet have certainly gotten my attention. I read them all online with a skeptic's eye and then quickly delete my browsing history lest someone should suspect me of considering them as a viable alternative to carnivorism.
Recently, I found myself watching an excerpt from a speech given by Neal Barnard MD. In this excerpt, Dr.Barnard speaks of the huge health risk that a diet high in saturated fat poses. He goes as far as to state that minimizing the levels of saturated and trans fat intake substantially lowers the risk for Alzheimer's Disease and Mild Cognitive Impairment. While I do not personally subscribe to some of the more extreme steps that he and many of his colleagues recommend for reasons previously stated, I do believe that our country consumes far too much meat and far too few vegetables. Watch the video below but tell no one you saw it here.
Monday, January 21, 2013
Bundle Up Folks!
Two weeks ago, I spent the entire Sunday in shorts and a t-shirt playing basketball with my oldest three sons. This past Sunday, the clothing ensemble looked more appropriate to a typical January day but the weather was still remarkably warm coming on the heels of a snowy Friday morning which caused the cancellation and delay of hundreds of schools and businesses across the Triangle. This morning's forecast warns of an extreme cold front moving through our area during the next few days. Tonight's temperatures are expected to dip into the low twenties and tomorrow night will reach into the teens. Daytime temps will offer very little respite from the cold. High temperatures are expected to be in the low 40's with wind chills that should keep most of us inside for the next 7-10 days. Brrrrr!
In light of the approaching winter weather, allow me to ask a question. What are you doing to make sure that the senior in your life survives? Pardon the Draconian language but extreme bouts of cold weather are potentially lethal for seniors.
Part of the normal aging process is a natural thinning of the skin. Gone are the days of being regarded as 'thick-skinned.' This change makes it more difficult for a senior to regulate the temperature of their own body. By itself, thin skin isn't particularly dangerous and is easy problem for which to compensate. The complications arise when you factor in some of the other changes and realities of the normal aging process. A senior nervous system doesn't process information as quickly as it did during younger years. As a result, a senior likely will not realize he is cold until the early effects of hypothermia have already set in. Furthermore, one of the early signs of hypothermia is muscle stiffness particularly in the neck, arms and legs. Have you ever met a senior who complains of being a little stiff? Ironically, the chronic aches and pains that most seniors have grown accustomed to ignoring are the very ones that should alert them of danger within their own bodies.
For a moment, we should consider the possibility that the seniors in our lives might also be taking prescription medications. Seniors account for 25% of all prescription medications taken in this country so it seems only reasonable that we consider this as a possibility. Many of the medications that seniors take can further inhibit the body's natural alarm systems placing seniors at an even greater risk.
Here are a few things you can do if you are a senior to protect yourself:
In light of the approaching winter weather, allow me to ask a question. What are you doing to make sure that the senior in your life survives? Pardon the Draconian language but extreme bouts of cold weather are potentially lethal for seniors.
Part of the normal aging process is a natural thinning of the skin. Gone are the days of being regarded as 'thick-skinned.' This change makes it more difficult for a senior to regulate the temperature of their own body. By itself, thin skin isn't particularly dangerous and is easy problem for which to compensate. The complications arise when you factor in some of the other changes and realities of the normal aging process. A senior nervous system doesn't process information as quickly as it did during younger years. As a result, a senior likely will not realize he is cold until the early effects of hypothermia have already set in. Furthermore, one of the early signs of hypothermia is muscle stiffness particularly in the neck, arms and legs. Have you ever met a senior who complains of being a little stiff? Ironically, the chronic aches and pains that most seniors have grown accustomed to ignoring are the very ones that should alert them of danger within their own bodies.
For a moment, we should consider the possibility that the seniors in our lives might also be taking prescription medications. Seniors account for 25% of all prescription medications taken in this country so it seems only reasonable that we consider this as a possibility. Many of the medications that seniors take can further inhibit the body's natural alarm systems placing seniors at an even greater risk.
Here are a few things you can do if you are a senior to protect yourself:
- If you live alone, arrange for a daily check-in call with a friend, neighbor, relative, etc.
- Wear warm clothing. Instead of tight clothing, wear several loose, warm layers. Wear a hat and scarf to avoid significant heat loss through your head and neck. Stay dry. Moisture from perspiration, rain, or melting snow can seriously reduce or destroy the insulating value of clothing because water conducts body heat over 25 times faster than air.
- Use extra blankets because hypothermia can develop during sleep.
- Eat nutritious foods and exercise moderately; proper diet and physical conditioning help protect you against abnormal heat and cold.
- Get proper rest; fatigue makes you more vulnerable to subnormal heat and cold.
- Drink adequate amounts of liquids, such as water. Limit your alcohol intake because alcohol speeds up body heat loss.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
The Fine Line Between Binging and Moderation
Researchers at Rutgers University have reported that binge drinking can decrease the development of adult brain cells by as much as 40 percent. Whew! I sure am glad that I don't have a binge drinking problem.
Not so fast. Also included in the study is information about the thin line that tends to separate drinking in moderation from what many consider to be binge drinking.
It has long been accepted as truth that a couple glasses of wine each day are a good way to promote cardiovascular and brain health. However, lead author of the study, Megan Anderson, cautions "Moderate drinking can become binge drinking without the person realizing it. In the short term, there may not be any noticeable motor skills or overall functioning problems. But in the long term, this type of behavior could have an adverse effect on learning and memory."
According to the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, men who drink 14 drinks a week and women who drink 7 are considered at-risk drinkers. While many people commonly assume that binge drinking is a strictly collegiate phenomenon, the statistics counter that assumption. According to the institute, 70 percent of binge drinking involved adults age 26 and older. "This research indicates that social or daily drinking may be more harmful to brain health than what is now believed by the general public."
Not so fast. Also included in the study is information about the thin line that tends to separate drinking in moderation from what many consider to be binge drinking.
It has long been accepted as truth that a couple glasses of wine each day are a good way to promote cardiovascular and brain health. However, lead author of the study, Megan Anderson, cautions "Moderate drinking can become binge drinking without the person realizing it. In the short term, there may not be any noticeable motor skills or overall functioning problems. But in the long term, this type of behavior could have an adverse effect on learning and memory."
According to the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, men who drink 14 drinks a week and women who drink 7 are considered at-risk drinkers. While many people commonly assume that binge drinking is a strictly collegiate phenomenon, the statistics counter that assumption. According to the institute, 70 percent of binge drinking involved adults age 26 and older. "This research indicates that social or daily drinking may be more harmful to brain health than what is now believed by the general public."
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