Tuesday, May 20, 2014

The Top Five Regrets of the Dying

http://aprillindnerwrites.blogspot.com/2013/09/golden-retrievals-dog-hospice-and-poem.html


"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to their graves with the song still in them."
-Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience and Other Essays

For most, there is still an opportunity to live a life of purpose. It is no small task to be continually intentional regarding who you are and what you were created to do with your life. Life has a not-so-funny way of throwing distractions into your field of vision which, while they may be good and worthwhile things, may nudge you slightly off course at critical moments. 

I often think of the movie Far and Away. The main character, a poor Irish tenant farmer, comes to America with dreams of owning his own plot of land. Like so many of us, along the way he loses track of the dream that drove him to the land of opportunity in the first place. While riding a train back east, he spots a caravan of settlers heading west. As if awakened from a sleep, he grabs his belongings and leaps from the train to join them. His fellows on the train call after him- "Mick! Mick! Where are you going?!" "I was on the wrong road," he answers back.

Unfortunately, many will reach the end of their journey with heavy regrets that they no longer have the time to correct. It is helpful to hear some of them as a cautionary tale. On my final day, I hope to be able to echo the words of the Apostle Paul who declared:" I have fought the good fight. I have finished the race. I have kept the faith."(2 Tim4:7)

Here are the top five regrets of the dying as recorded by Bonnie Ware in her new book, The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing.

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

How many of us have fallen into this trap? It is easy to conform to the expectations of those who care the most about us but ultimately, it is not their life to live. Make it your own.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

This regret was shared by an overwhelming number of male patients during their final moments. Go home and through the ball with your kids.


3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Bottling up emotions is not a new art form. The results of hiding your thoughts and feelings are well documented on every possible level: physical, mental, and emotional. In the words of Elsa, let it go.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Creating true community is a VERY intentional task. As lives get busier, carving out time for the people in your life that matter is not automatic. How many of us have people on our list that 'we just lost touch with somehow?'

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Perhaps the most surprising of the top five, this is not an easy fix. Happiness and joy are choices that we make throughout our lives despite our circumstances. It is far easier to become mired in whatever difficulty we are currently facing than to celebrate all of the remarkable aspects of the life we have been given along the way.
So....


For more information about the way Home Instead Senior Care can help your loved one live the life of their dreams visit www.homeinstead.com/106.

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