Friday, December 28, 2012

The Wonderful Wizard of Hos-pice

Last week I found myself visiting with the daughter of an aging parent. After reviewing their situation, I mentioned that it might not be a bad idea to contact a hospice organization. As soon as the word "hospice" escaped my lips, I found myself face to face with a hysterical daughter who sobbed uncontrollably at the imminent passing of her father. That wasn't what I said!

At Home Instead Senior Care, we often partner with hospice organizations. Home Instead is dedicated to the mission of helping people live life on their own terms. So is hospice. Home Instead recognizes that there are certain realities that are naturally associated with the aging process that cannot be avoided. So does hospice.

Many people think about hospice as a place but in actuality it is a philosophy of care. Hospice can help patients and their families begin to deal with whatever is happening to them on their own terms and in their own time frame. If life is a journey, think of hospice as a travel agent. Hospice helps coordinate community resources and helps you to know where to go in order to get the very best of everything. While most of us try to cheat death at every turn, there has only ever been one man who has managed to defeat death. That makes the human mortality rate pretty close to 100%. If you are the child of an aging parent and are approaching the point where care is more important than cure then I would highly suggest getting in touch with a hospice organization. They are truly wonderful people and have been a tremendous comfort to to the clients we have partnered with them to serve.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

In Case You Missed It!

In case you missed it, i've posted the interview I did regarding the Protect Seniors From Fraud Program on our website. Enjoy!

Home Instead Franchise Owner on UNCTV

Monday, November 5, 2012

It's Not A Toomah!


Don't you just hate armchair physicians? Well intentioned people who roam the streets and speak half-truths into the lives of those around them, usually without being asked, drive me crazy. I generally resent unsolicited advice of any nature but on the healthcare front I find myself especially agitated by pseudo-doctors who feel the need to diagnose and offer treatment suggestions whenever I sneeze, cough, or just feel a little off.

Seniors face a number of challenges with regards to the normal aging process. Certain things just start to wear out after about 70-80 years. When I meet with the family of a prospective client, I take care to question where each claimed illness has been diagnosed. Specifically with regards to dementia, I find that many seniors are living life under the impression that they have Alzheimer's or dementia. Out of all the illnesses that befall the elderly, none is more terrifying than this one. A disease which causes you to lose your memories and any sense of who you are is not a diagnosis that should be lightly made. Yet we see countless examples of this at Home Instead Senior Care. We see huge numbers of seniors who live in fear of Alzheimer's disease because they momentarily forgot where they put their house keys and some well intentioned person mentioned dementia as a reason.

If you happen to be one of those people who feels the constant urge to offer possible explanations to anyone who is suffering from anything at any given time, please pull Alzheimer's and dementia out of your little black bag of non-authorized diagnosis doom. While I appreciate your desire to help it is only fair to point out that you lack the medical training with which to squeeze a pimple and therefore have no business diagnosing a disease that has befuddled the brightest minds in the medical community for over a century. It's not a toomah!

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Gimme the Candy!

To say that there are an abundance of children in my neighborhood would be an understatement. Our house sits on the corner of two cul-de-sacs which, in total, represent 32 children. Halloween is kind of a big deal. Nevertheless, I am guilty of two Halloween sins. First, I turn my lights off before the candy is really gone. Once the stash of candy has run down to the dregs, I flip the light off and retreat to my lazy boy (aptly named) where I work to avoid the stomach ache which will undoubtedly follow the consumption of that many Sour Patch Kids. Second, I lie to my children. My oldest son has a peanut allergy and we therefore must screen all of our children's loot to ensure that there are no peanut candies hiding in the mix. Over the years, my wife and I have taken increasing liberties with the screening process. My kids are now convinced that there are many candies that could potentially spell disaster for people with a peanut allergy. Such as: Gummy Savers, the aforementioned Sour Patch Kids, Smarties, Rolo's, Swedish Fish, Airheads, Nerds, Sweet Tarts, Now-n-Laters,  and anything with dark chocolate in it. These are a few of my favorite things. Following the onslaught of our neighbor's goodwill, the kids all come back home and dump their goodies onto the living room floor where I scour the contents of their respective pumpkins, removing all "risky" items. Safety is important on Halloween.

I thought this blog was about seniors?

Relax, I'll get there.
One of the parts of the natural aging process is the reduction in the body's ability to taste things. This is due to a number of factors such as a reduction of saliva production as well as a reduction in the actual number of taste buds. Frequently, you will see older people dumping unholy amounts of salt, pepper, vinegar, Tabasco, etc. onto everything they eat. They don't decide to begin bathing their food in hot sauce because they have suddenly gone cajun at the ripe old age of 65. They do this because it is the only way they can taste the foods. The reduction of a senior's ability to taste their food has a couple effects which merit words of caution. First, it is no fun for older adults to eat so they don't. The only thing worse than eating by yourself is eating a meal you physically can't enjoy by yourself. Proper nutrition is important at every stage of life but probably most of all for seniors, some of whom are managing chronic conditions. These conditions can be greatly exacerbated by poor nutrition. At Home Instead Senior Care, our caregivers pay special attention to the nutritional needs of seniors and work to make meals more enjoyable. They do this not only through companionship but also by working to make mealtime more of an event. Eating out of microwaveable cardboard container stinks even with good conversation. Setting a nice table goes a long way toward making meals more palatable even if it is only for the eyes.

Ok. But how does this have anything to do with Halloween and your crimes against children?

Hold on to your hats because I'm about to bring it all home.
Riddle: If you are unable to taste anything except for things that are exceptionally salty or sweet and suddenly find yourself with an abundance of Halloween candy, what will you probably eat?
Answer: All of the leftover Halloween candy.
The days following Halloween are great times to visit the senior in your life and check in on the nutrition front. Look to make sure that there isn't a ton of candy left over which could pose a significant health threat in the absence of other foods. Plan a trip to the grocery store to provide nutritious companions if not alternatives to the belly full of Snicker's Minis that will represent the first thing your senior has been able to taste in weeks.

If the senior in your life is unreceptive to this kind of assistance then I would encourage your children to be more insistent about that second or third treat in the basket. Arm them with kind words like: 'It's for your own good,' and 'Because we care.'

Have fun and be safe tonight, dear readers. Happy Halloween!

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

How Does Your Garden Grow?


I find some of my greatest life lessons in my garden. Last year, I built two raised bed gardens in my backyard. I had grand dreams of the food we would grow there. Initially, the garden I made was a thing of beauty. Rich black soil, the smell of fresh mulch, bees buzzing busily as they pollinated my crops. Each morning and evening I would water and preen by hand. In short order, my garden began to blossom. Then life happened. I got busy. I got too busy to continue to spend the amount of time that I had initially spent cultivating my garden. As a result, weeds and bugs began to invade. Before long, the fantastic thing I built was no longer.

So much of in-home care is a garden. Initially, we utilize a ton of resources to ensure that we are recruiting and training the very best caregivers available. The background check we run on all our applicants continues to be the most thorough available, the reference checks and drug screening we insist upon have set the standard for in-home care. But that isn't enough. We must continue to water and preen our garden lest the weeds and bugs should invade. This is the new battlefield for in-home care providers.

One of our two core values at Home Instead Senior Care in Chapel Hill is to exceed the expectations of everyone that we encounter. We call it our 4E's. Sadly, the expectations from seniors and their families are fairly low. They have become accustomed to a certain amount of tardiness, a certain amount of apathy, a certain amount of absenteeism when dealing with in-home care. Their experience with the industry has taught them what they can realistically expect. From day one, we fight against this "assumed reality" with our clients and our caregivers. From birthday and anniversary cards, to our P.E.A.Q. program, to our quality assurance visits, to our on-call policy, to our community involvement-Home Instead Senior Care is working to exceed the expectations of everyone that we encounter. As anyone who is happily married can tell you, relationships do not build themselves. Like gardens, relationships require constant effort if they are to grow.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Engaging the Lost Causes

When caring for people who are suffering from Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia, there comes a time when the person suffering loses the ability to communicate. During typical late stage Alzheimer's, a person may be bed or chair-bound, unable to speak, and in some cases completely unresponsive. Sadly, the temptation is to disengage from the person we love at this point. Why bother talking with them when they can't talk back? Why ask them questions to which they can no longer respond? While this approach is understandable to anyone who has dealt with this disease firsthand, it misses a huge opportunity to continue to connect with the people we care about.

During our Alzheimer's and Other Dementia training at Home Instead Senior Care, we deal specifically with late stage clients. We address the fact that just because the people for whom we are caring aren't able to verbally validate our attempts, we shouldn't be discouraged from continuing to interact with them. We should, however, amend the techniques we use in order to give them the maximum benefit of our involvement.

The techniques we use for late stage clients all revolve around the five senses: smell, touch, taste, sight, and hearing. These senses unlock a world of memories for the clients that we serve that we may never truly realize. For all of us, there are certain things which take us to another time and place.

-If I smell Cinnamon Butter Cake, I am transported back to my grandparent's house in Woodward, OK. I can see the large front door they had swinging open as my brother and I bound out of the car after a long drive up from Texas and into their waiting arms.
-The feel of a saxophone in my hands brings back memories of long band bus trips and cold competition mornings.
-The taste of tamales paints a portrait of Christmas in San Antonio that no artist could ever come close to rivaling.
-The sight of pictures of my kids in their toddler years brings smiles to my heart that last all day.
-If I hear the song "Two Princes" by the Spin Doctors, I find myself sitting in the back seat of Jana Davis' car on the way to school. She was a beautiful flute player in the high school band who as a senior agreed to give me a ride as a freshman so that I wouldn't have to ride the bus.

None of these journeys you can go on with me. For our dementia clients in their late stages, you can't go where they are headed either. You may never get the validation of knowing that you have given them the memory tool to take that mental trip. But we do not care for those in our lives in order to attain some personal validation, we care for them in order to provide them with the best possible quality of life. And on that mission, we never give up.

Friday, October 19, 2012

A Turn For the Worse

If I had a nickel for every time I heard the phrase "Since she has been at the hospital, Mother's dementia has taken a turn for the worse," I would be a very wealthy man. The idea that hospitals cause dementia is an amazing phenomenon to me that way too many people accept at face value as a universal truth of aging. Hospitals do not cause dementia. Granted, with the size and confusing layout of most hospitals even I forget how to get back to the parking garage from time to time. The fact that so many seniors never have the opportunity to return home from a hospital stay due to the mysterious "dementia monster" attacking them upon admission is troubling. The fact that this absurd logic is never even challenged is downright maddening.

What causes dementia is, in fact, a mystery. Scientists know that the greatest risk factor is advancing age but beyond that the entirety of medical knowledge on the subject resorts to what can be most aptly described as a "best guess scenario."The sudden, rapid progression of dementia is a far less complicated matter to investigate than actual dementia. So allow me.

In the normal aging process, senior's bodies begin to function differently than they did  in younger years. Kidneys do not function as efficiently as they once did. This particular facet of aging, I believe is responsible for a huge percentage of the post hospital rehab admissions today. Imagine this scenario:

A woman, age 94, has lived independently since her husband's death two decades ago. She continues to be fairly engaged in the community and has a caregiver who comes in twice a week to keep her company and assist her with errands and chores around the house. At times, she has troubling recalling certain things but the things she forgets will generally come back to her and do not interfere with her daily life. She is a model for aging with independence. One day she slips and falls while retrieving the mail. Due to the brittle nature of her bones, she fractures her left hip requiring surgery. The surgery goes extremely well, especially considering her age, and the doctors all say that after some quick rehab she should be fine to return home with limited assistance as before. Not so strangely, she begins to show confusion following surgery. It is gradual at first and then increases rapidly. The doctor's offer a simple explanation. Sometimes in a hospital situation, a senior's dementia takes a turn for the worse. AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!! With respect to the kind hearted medical professionals, allow me to postulate another theory. This particular 94 year old has avoided medications for most of her life wherever possible. She takes a baby aspirin every morning and a multivitamin because an episode of Donahue told her that doing so might reduce her risk of certain cancers. Suddenly, due to her hip fracture, she is being given an anesthetic for the actual surgery, a sedative to help her sleep at night, a medication to prevent constipation, and Oxycodone to ease the pain. When you combine that cocktail with the knowledge that her kidneys are not filtering these drugs effectively, another possible diagnosis presents itself. She isn't suddenly demented. SHE IS HIGH!!

I wish I could tell you that this woman eventually stabilized and was able to return home. I wish I could tell you that she wasn't discharged to a skilled nursing facility where she was administered a daily dose of instant-dementia for the rest of her days. Most of all, I wish I could tell you that her's was a unique story. But alas, I am unable to make any of these statements and instead sit here at the keyboard typing, collecting a nickel for every time that I hear that someone's dementia has taken a turn for the worse.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Alzheimer's and the Marvel of the Human Mind

Yesterday, I taught a group of our Home Instead Senior Care CAREGivers about Alzheimer's. As part of our C.A.R.E. initiative, we are teaching not only our caregivers but families as well.

As I taught the class, I couldn't help but notice one attendee who was not engaged in the material. After our initial period of instruction, we took a short break where I seized the opportunity to ask why she seemed so distant from the rest of the class. She replied, "This doesn't apply to me. I don't have any clients that have Alzheimer's."

It struck me just how typical that attitude is with regards to Alzheimer's and other dementia. And just how inaccurate. Since Dr.Alzheimer first discovered the plaques and tangles which are the indicators of the disease, there have been great advancements made. 100 years of medical research has brought an end to a number of formerly deadly diseases and chronic conditions. The human brain, however, remains an outlier. After a century of funding and research, scientists still stand in amazement at the marvel of the human mind.

As a Christian, it is my belief that I am not an accidental collection of cells that somehow, after a billion years of trial and error, managed to put themselves together in a manner that encompasses every facet of my functioning body as well as my personality. To take a hard look at the human body and believe that it is simply the result of chance requires, in my opinion, a far greater amount of faith than belief in a creator. I see intricate designs and systems which work in perfect harmony with one another. I see passions, desires, and creativity which make no sense in the scheme of "survival of the fittest" and would have likely been lost throughout the millenia if evolution were the only explanation for our existence. If the brutal battle for survival is solely responsible for our survival as a species then I think we should be a far less compassionate and reasoned people than we find ourselves. I digress.

On the matter of Alzheimer's and dementia, there is very little to show for 100 years of study. At this point, we cannot tell you who is more likely to develop Alzheimer's. We cannot tell you what causes Alzheimer's. We cannot therefore tell you how to prevent Alzheimer's. We are unable to effectively treat Alzheimer's. And we are unable to cure Alzheimer's. That is the reality of this tragic disease. The other tragic portion is the statistical inevitability that each and every one of us will be affected by it.

The greatest risk factor associated with Alzheimer's and other dementias is advancing age. The older you get, the more likely you are to develop symptoms. In 2011, the Alzheimer's Association reported that an estimated 5.4 million Americans of all ages have a type of dementia. Over the age of 65, the number of people with Alzheimer's narrows to one out of every eight. If you live to the age of 85 or beyond your risk of Alzheimer's increases to one out of two.

You may choose to bury your head in the sand and pray that you will not be one of the people struck with Alzheimer's. You may not have anyone in your immediate circle who is currently struggling with dementia. Since half of all seniors who live to be 85 will be stricken with this tragic disease, it is unreasonable to assume that you will not be affected in some way.

Join us for a family education event in Chapel Hill on December 4th and 6th from 6pm-8:30pm. The classes will be held at the Chapel Hill Carrboro Chamber of Commerce office, 104 S. Estes Dr. Chapel Hill, NC. Please RSVP to 919.933.3300 so that we can provide adequate materials for all in attendance. I look forward to seeing you there!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

The Foul Ball

This is the story of an unbelievable experience I had while caring for one of our clients. It appears as it was published in Fifteen-501 The Magazine.

"As the owner of a senior care company, I've learned that spending as much time as possible with clients keeps me in touch with what I believe to be the heartbeat of our business. While most still live in their homes with our assistance, many clients reside in facilities. For the latter, we provide a much-needed escape from the monotony that can have a devastating effect on the morale of those who, despite their outward appearance, feel no different than they did 40 years ago.

I had the privilege of taking one such client, Mr.H, to a Durham Bulls baseball game last season. Mr.H, who lives in an assisted living facility in Chapel Hill, has moderate dementia. As with many who suffer from this condition, there are things about his life that are clear as a bell and others that elude him: He can't tell you what he did for a living for 35 years or how he came to be in Chapel Hill, but he can tell you what it was like to storm the beaches at Normandy, how cold the water was, and how he prayed that he would make it to the beach before he was shot down because he didn't want to die drowning.

He can also tell you what it was like to watch Babe Ruth take batting practice during the late 1920's, and how the effortlessly the slugger knocked 10 or 12 balls over the fence. In medical circles, they call these memories "moments of clarity." A s a student of history, I don't mind the repetition of stories, so we spent the first five or six innings of the game talking through some of these moments. He asked me several times whether I had ever caught a foul ball, and mentioned how he couldn't believe that in 83 years of attending baseball games he'd never caught one himself.

As the day wore on, the heat finally got the best of us. After the seventh inning stretch, we decided to call it quits. He asked the foul-ball question again as we were leaving, and I replied that we'd have to wait until next time around. At that exact moment, we heard the crack of the bat and both turned to look. the ball floated in the air toward us in almost slow motion, and after what seemed like an eternity, it landed-- literally--at Mr.H's feet. I bent down, picked it up, and handed it to him. He had caught his first foul ball.

The ride back was quiet to say the least. The entire experience was surreal. He spent most of the time tossing the ball between his hands, smiling, quietly uttering, "Eighty-three years. I can't believe it. Eighty-three years."

When we returned to the facility, he shook my hand, thanked me again and began to walk inside. After four or five steps, he turned around and looked down at the ball, then back at me.

"Maybe you can come sometime and we can have a catch," he said. "Sure," I replied. "It would be my pleasure."

I know Mr.H might not remember that I was the one who took him to the game that day. I know he might not be able to recall what teams were playing. I do know, however, that he'll remember the day that he caught a foul ball. I know that as cloudy as his mind might be, that moment has joined the pantheon of Babe Ruth and Normandy, and I was there to see it. I got to see an 83-year-old become just another boy at the ballpark. I watched a man come alive, if only for a moment.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Still Funny

Several years ago, at our Home Instead Senior Care International Convention, a senior citizen named Mary Maxwell delivered the invocation. Part prayer, part hilarious rant about aging; it left us all howling with laughter. The Youtube video has since gone viral with almost 10 million views but I still crack up every time I watch it. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPFCn3itBFE

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Both Sides

I have been blessed by so many things in my life. Among the most wonderful of these blessings is my wife. I like to think that we have 'a groovy kind of love.' We have had our ups and downs but after 11 years there have been far more ups than downs. After a decade, she still takes my breath away.

On Monday evenings, we host a church small group comprised mostly of younger couples. We enjoy sharing in the excitement of their marriages and in walking with them through the reality check that often occurs after about six months of living with a new spouse. Ah, young love.

At work however, I am privileged to be able to observe the other side of  love. I meet almost daily with husbands and wives who are living out their covenant vows in often painful and trying circumstances. I see wives who are doing everything possible to preserve the dignity of the man that they adore as his mind and body are ravaged by the effects of Alzheimer's disease. I see husbands drive daily to sit by the bedside of the love of their life and softly sing a song to which they used to dance. No longer able to walk, they hold hands and dance through their memories together. It is a poignant, beautiful thing that I get to see. It is a picture that moves me to cherish my bride even more.

Two members of our small group, Ben and Brittany recently walked through a moment like that earlier in their marriage than they had ever imagined. Complications surrounding the birth of their twins put the survival of the mother and both of the daughters in jeopardy. We give thank God that Brittany and both of the girls are home and doing very well. Today is Ben and Brittany's two year anniversary. Somehow I think that he will  hold her a little closer today than maybe he did before. Not because he didn't love her before but because he has now seen both sides.  The blinding affection of young love is intoxicating but fleeting. The mature resolute love that has been tested and yet endures is sacrosanct.

http://vimeo.com/15103432


Monday, September 17, 2012

Am I Going To Get Alzheimer's?

Alzheimer's disease is one of the most tragic things to potentially happen to a senior. But so many people suffer from the fear of Alzheimer's for years unnecessarily. While there are a multitude of theories and speculations regarding this disease, the disappointing reality is that we still don't know much about it. Sure we can tell you what it does, what it looks like, and how it generally progresses but we still can't tell you who is going to get it. We can't tell you who is most at risk. We can't tell you how to slow it down. We can't tell you how to stop it. After a hundred years of research, we can't tell you how to cure Alzheimer's disease.
The lack of concrete answers hasn't stopped us from inventing our own realities. I grew up watching my grandfather work the crossword every morning and adopted a 'use it or lose' mentality regarding Alzheimer's. Many others take fish oil supplements or avoid certain foods or chemicals. These may all be great habits to form but there is relatively little scientific evidence which suggests that they are anything more than wishful thinking.
For anyone with a genetic connection to it, the fear of inheriting Alzheimer's disease can become an all consuming force. Everything you forget somehow translates into a sure sign that you have the disease. Studies have shown that there are relatively few cases of Alzheimer's which can be attributed to genetics. Some studies put the number at less than 1%! Early onset Alzheimer's can be cause for alarm. These are situations where someone will develop Alzheimer's prior to turning 65. In those instances, there is a stronger probability that someone in their family might develop Alzheimer's as well. Those cases represent less 5% of all documented diagnoses and therefore shouldn't strike premature fear in our hearts. If someone in your family develops Alzheimer's well after their 65th birthday there is no significant cause for alarm as the biggest cause of the disease is increasing age. In fact, by the time someone reaches the age of 85, the odds of them developing Alzheimer's disease is around 47%.
So the simple answer to the question 'Am I going to get Alzheimer's?' is that we just don't know. If you live a long time you run a greater risk.
As a father of five young children, I have become increasingly forgetful in the last few years. At times it has caused me to ask the same question. Am I going to get Alzheimer's? But then I think about what Jesus said. ""Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?  And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?  And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 34 "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:25-34

Friday, September 14, 2012

Wheelchairs at the Gym

Several years ago, my family took a trip to Disney World. My wife was eight months pregnant with our fourth child. Our three other boys were old enough to enjoy it but young enough to still be a handful. My mother-in-law and her significant other were with us as well. Initially, I was a bit dismayed by the last addition because her significant other was still recovering from a recent hip surgery and I was certain would slow us down dramatically. What I didn't realize was that anyone on a wheelchair or motorized scooter goes immediately to the front of every line- WITH THEIR ENTIRE ENTOURAGE! I am not proud of the way that we exploited his physical malady that day but I can say that with three kids and a pregnant wife we set a land speed record for most rides and parks in a single visit that still stands.

In the video clip below, Mary Maxwell talks about some of the disadvantages of this type of posturing in places other than Disney. Happy Friday!

http://www.caregiverstress.com/2012/08/seniors-at-the-gym/

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Sitters and Doers

One of my greatest pet peeves in this business is the word "sitter." At Home Instead Senior Care, we employ CAREGivers. We do not provide sitters. The implication in the title "sitter" is that the person who spends time will be there in the same capacity as a guard dog or life alert pendant. They are only really there to make sure nothing terrible happens and to alert the proper authorities if it does. A CAREGiver is a different breed entirely. A CAREGiver is someone who is there to live life with a senior, someone to invest their heart into someone else. True, sometimes that is sitting beside someone's bed so that if they wake in the night following an illness they will be comforted by knowing someone is there. But even in those sedentary moments, a CAREGiver is not a sitter. Consider dining at a restaurant. Upon being seated, your table is approached by someone who tells you that they will be taking your order and bringing you your food once it is ready. Alternatively, you visit the same restaurant the next night and are greeted by someone who tells you that it is their job to serve you. While some of the tasks may be identical, the approach is entirely different. At Home Instead Senior Care, everything we do is built around the relationship. We are not "sitters." If anything, we are "doers."

Below is a link to a wonderful article about a relationship that formed over time between a senior and her caregiver.

http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/09/11/the-caregiver/

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Three Crimes to Watch For

Home Instead Senior Care franchises across the country are in the middle of a public education campaign to protect seniors from fraud. According to a recent Metlife study, the annual financial loss incurred by seniors as a result of fraud is $2.9 billion. The Metlife study group the fraud perpetrated against seniors into three categories: crimes of occasion, crimes of desperation and crimes of predation.

Crimes of Predation-
This is what most people think of when they think about seniors being defrauded. Crimes of predation are crimes that spring out of relationships which were formed for the sole purpose of stealing from a senior. The fake charity that calls for a donation, the bogus repairman who "fixes" the shaky porch railing, the fraudulent termite inspector that treats for an infestation.

Crimes of Desperation-
These are the crimes that are rarely discussed. Crimes of desperation are typically committed by family or close friends. Usually, the person committing the crime is dependent upon the senior in some way financially. In my experience, I have seen children drain their parents finances or deprive their parents of the type of care they need because they don't want to spend what they already view as their inheritance. In these instances, the children don't believe that there is anything wrong with taking from their parents because they feel that they have somehow earned it.

Crimes of Occasion-
This type of fraud is usually committed just because the opportunity presented itself. The senior had money or something of value, the opportunity presented itself and the person took it.

For more resources on how to prevent crime against seniors visit www.protectseniorsfromfraud.com


Monday, September 10, 2012

A Sad (but fairly typical) Story

We are all familiar with the woeful reputation of Cinderella’s evil stepmother. Certain roles in a family structure are notorious in repute. They become historical punchlines- the old ball-n-chain, the in laws, the mother in law, the crazy uncle. They are funny to talk about because at some level and in some cases there is partial truth to them.
Recently, I spoke with a woman dealing with the care of her father. Her dad recently celebrated his 90th birthday and has started to exhibit some symptoms of mild dementia. He remarried about 15 years ago much to the chagrin of all of the children and the relationship between these adult children and their new “evil stepmother” never warmed. However, there was one topic on which they all agreed. They promised their dad/husband that they would never put him in a facility. This promise was to become the wedge that would drive the family apart.
Over the last several months, Dad’s condition has worsened. Not tremendously, but certainly to the point where the day to day aspects of providing care for him have become overwhelming for one person to handle. Suddenly, the promise to keep him at home is relative for his new wife. A nursing home seems the only acceptable solution. As one of the daughters told me this story her anger for her stepmother and the broken promise was palpable. This was not the plan. Dad deserves better.
One of the things we stress during our initial training sessions for new caregivers is the critical importance of taking care of the caregiver. As a caregiver, the rigors and demands of serving the increasing needs of a senior are staggering. The emotional toll of caregiving creates a level of stress to which even the most empathetic observers are oblivious. This stress manifests in different ways for different people. Upset stomach, insomnia, canker sores, back pain, headaches, loss of appetite, depression, among other symptoms are things to which we teach our caregivers to pay close attention. YOU ARE NO GOOD TO SOMEONE ELSE IF YOU DON’T TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST.
This “evil stepmother” is not truly evil in my opinion. Her desire is not to break the heartfelt promises of a family to an elderly man. She is a family caregiver who has reached her breaking point and been pushed beyond it. She wishes to put her husband into a retirement home because it is the only option she can see. It is the only relief in her sight. While any rational observer may be able to see that resources and help are available, she is no longer a rational observer. She is exhausted on a level that her “evil stepchildren” can’t comprehend. And the lack of understanding on both sides is what drives the wedge and fuels the stereotype.
Are you a family caregiver? For help managing stress visit- http://www.caregiverstress.com/

Friday, September 7, 2012

Where the Oldest Die Now

Below you will find a link to the New York Times blog, The New Old Age. In a recent article columnist Paula Span writes about the increase of elderly  people being able to die in their own homes. In 1989, only 12% of seniors were able to pass away in the comfort and familiarity of their own homes. By 2007, that number has risen to 19%. This is still a disappointing statistic given that the vast majority of seniors want to live out the rest of their days in their own homes. However, the fact that more are able to do that now than before should be encouraging to seniors and to all of us working to make their final chapter exactly what they want it to be.

http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/04/18/where-the-oldest-die-now/

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

What is Home Instead?

It is the all-important question. It is the one thing that every small business owner should be ready and able to articulate within 30 seconds. It is the query you hope someone will ask. Yet after as many years as I have run Home Instead I still find myself struggling to answer this very basic question.
It isn't that I don't know. It isn't that I struggle finding the words to describe what we do. It is that our mission is so much broader than what we functionally accomplish in our day to day work. Functionally, Home Instead Senior Care provides non-medical assistance to seniors throughout Orange and NE Chatham county. We provide services such as companionship, meal preparation, medication reminders, incidental transportation, light housekeeping, Alzheimer's and personal care. But we provide much more than that.
Home Instead is a state of mind. It is a choice. It is a commitment by seniors and their families to live life on their own terms. It is the stubborn refusal to be a spectator during what should be an amazing chapter of life. Many times there is a physical expression of living Home Instead. 'I am Home Instead of ______.' However, many of our clients have transitioned to communities and care facilities that have now become home. Even in these environments, it is still possible to live 'Home Instead.'
Beyond the clients are their families. This is a place where living 'Home Instead' really sets itself apart from living any other way. The daughter waking up after her first full night of sleep in three months is living 'Home Instead.' The father now able to leave his mother's side long enough to attend his daughter's volleyball tournament is living 'Home Instead.' The family that smiles at a parent's memorial service, knowing that they did all that they could do to make those last years wonderful knows better than anyone what living 'Home Instead' is all about.
To the gentleman who stopped me at Walgreen's this weekend, I apologize if I seemed at a loss for words when you asked me what Home Instead does. We give seniors and their families a choice between just living and living 'Home Instead.'