Have a Very "Geri" Christmas. Gift Ideas for Aging Parents.

Every year we go through it: the indecision, the frustration, the breathless anticipation, the faux gratitude, the gift receipts. What on earth do you get your aging parents for Christmas?! Children are relatively easy to shop for by comparison. Even the boxes have the ages listed on them. "This toy is appropriate for ages 8+." Bingo and thank you. There are, however, no such labels when it comes to shopping for an aging parent. "This Snuggie is ideally suited for ages 76+." This is my grown-up Christmas wish.

That is the age-old/old-age question I suppose. What do you get an aging parent for Christmas? After 70 Christmases worth of presents, what are the odds that Mom has any need for a new set of decorative dish towels or that Dad's workshop is lacking any tool under the sun? The obligatory item featuring this year's "Greatest Shot of the Grandkids Ever" will certainly find its way under the tree but social media tools like Facebook are beginning to render even that holiday classic obsolete. So where are you Christmas?Why can't I find you? Why have you gone away? (Admit it. You heard Faith Hill singing in your mind just then. It's alright. Only a few more days left.)

This year the fine folks at the University of California at San Fransisco have come to the holiday rescue with a list of gift ideas for the elderly which they posted on their blog, Geri-pal.

They've got a list and have clearly checked it twice because it is filled with great, thoughtful gift ideas for the aging parent in your life. The list begins with functional tools like jar openers and grab bars which are easily moveable. Do your parents still have records but no way to play them? Maybe a record player might be just the thing this year.

Edible goodies like petit fours, teas, and candies are wonderful gifts and are now available as sugar-free/ gluten-free options in a lot of fine retailers.

Medication Reminder Clocks are popular gifts and offer the feature of recording your own voice commands to take certain medications at certain times throughout the day.

Out of all the gift suggestions, my favorite is the suggestion to just do something. Aging parents will certainly appreciate any gift you give this year but they probably have enough "stuff." Offer to spend your holiday visit helping them with a project they have been putting off. Help them organize the junk drawer or make a few trips to Goodwill. Little things like that may not seem like much of a gift but to a senior who is potentially struggling with mobility problems it may be the gift that keeps on giving.

Merry Christmas Y'all!

See the full list here: http://www.geripal.org/2013/12/what-to-give-uncle-ernie-grandma-mabel.html

The Assisted Living Dilemma

Yesterday, I watched a PBS program called Frontline. This particular episode was an investigative journey into the world of assisted living facilities. In particular, it was an excoriating look at communities run by the Emeritus corporation, the nation's largest provider of assisted living care.  The stories that were told were horrifying and embody everything that people fear about institutionalized senior care.

There is no question that the senior demographic is a fast growing market. The plain reality is that while there are numerous new and exciting options for aging boomers, there is still a desperate need for a solution to the "Age Wave." Assisted living facilities have largely stepped into that gap. Unfortunately, assisted living facilities find themselves in a perfect storm of controversy which is a combination of a number of complex factors.

Among those who work with seniors and their families it is common knowledge that "assisted living facilities" have become the new "skilled nursing facilities." A skilled nursing facility is what has traditionally been known as a nursing home. SNiF's, as they are commonly called, are places where seniors go when they are no longer able to live their lives without significant supervision and assistance. Regrettably, most seniors would rather die than go into a nursing home. That is a sadly ironic choice for many. Enter the Assisted Living Facilities or ALF's. These communities are designed to accomodate seniors who wish to live on their own but require basic assistance.  Meals are prepared. Activities and field trips are planned. Staff members are available to provide assistance with eating, bathing and walking 24/hrs a day...according to the brochure. The reality is that assisted living communities are set up to work like insurance policies. There should be some residents who are almost completely independent. There should be some residents who require more assistance. In a perfect world, the balance between the two provides an affordable option with adequate care.

But this is the real world.

There are several equally causal factors which create the assisted living dilemma as I see it.

1. Families don't want to put Mom into a nursing home.

The decision to put an aging parent into a facility is one of the most difficult any adult child is likely to face. In most cases, families neglect to sit down and rationally discuss the aging process until they are too far into the journey to be able to look at things without the understandable emotional entanglements. The choices become nothing more than well-intentioned guesses and many times carry with them regrets which will last a lifetime. A family may cognitively realize that their parent requires more care than can be reasonably expected of an ALF but emotionally not be able to handle placement into a nursing home. The assisted living facility becomes an enabler of sorts which acts as  a functional bridge of care until the reality is completely undeniable. In order to postpone the inevitable, families will sometimes shine the warmest possible light on the situation. Neglecting to paint a picture which resembles reality, they not only place their parents into dangerous situations, they deny the communities the information needed to hire adequate staff in order to provide the needed care.

2. Facilities do not like empty rooms.

While many business professionals may tell you that it isn't about the numbers, at some level it must be about the numbers. The directors and marketing professionals in senior living communities of every care level are held accountable to their census. If there is no room at the proverbial inn and a waiting list of seniors then all is well. This would seem to be a reasonable expectation given the rapidly aging populace and the limited number of alternative housing options available. However, human nature does not typically gravitate towards making difficult decisions. Without an understandable amount of coaxing on the part of the marketing personnel, most families would rather postpone a tough choice than pull the inevitable trigger. In a 'may the best salesperson win' environment the senior almost always loses.

3. Great Expectations.

Blindfolds and rose colored glasses do not typically produce great clarity. Facilities at some points over-promise. Families at some points under-disclose. Those two competing visions of reality can spell disaster for the senior stuck in the middle. Furthermore, fully two thirds of all seniors in assisted living communities have been diagnosed with Alzheimer's or some other form of dementia according to recent studies. This removes the possibility of receiving credible feedback from the one person best able to assess the situation. "Sure, Mom says that they are not attentive but she has dementia and doesn't always remember." "Mrs.Johnson in room 318 says she pressed the call button an hour ago but she has dementia and hasn't really been waiting that long." Combine ingredients and simmer until things begin to breakdown.

There is plenty of blame to be laid at the feet of assisted living facilities. While some issues are individual failures, still others are indicative of more systemic problems. My intent is not to take sides. I know how difficult it is for families to deal with decisions of this magnitude. I also know many of the people who take great pride in the work of making their facilities feel like home to the seniors in their care. There is not some vast conspiracy among senior living facilities to victimize seniors by providing them with substandard care. There is, however, a great chasm which exists between the needs of seniors and the way we meet them. Hopefully, the day will soon come when we can all stop pointing fingers and start joining hands to find a solution.

Forgiveness. Tis the Season.

I am frequently staggered by some of the situations in which we find ourselves at Home Instead Senior Care. While some seniors are blessed with families who love and support them throughout their aging journey others are largely left to fend for themselves. Family dynamics are unquestionably complicated and I have learned to attempt to refrain from passing judgment on what I see. While I  attempt to maintain an impartial perspective, human nature dictates that I cannot remain entirely neutral. How can a sister continue to support her brother both financially and emotionally after years of verbal abuse at every turn? How can a daughter refuse to visit or even speak to her ailing mother only a short drive down the road? How can a son deny his mother the care she requires in an attempt to preserve an inheritance for himself? These are the situations in which we find ourselves at Home Instead Senior Care and they never get any easier. In fact, much of what we see is actually getting worse.

Throughout the last century, the family unit has taken a tremendous blow. While there are a multitude of legitimate accusations regarding the cause of this deterioration, the reality of its fracturing is unavoidable. Many parents don't have a relationship with their children at all. In my opinion, an increasing number of parents are making "the friend mistake"; trading in the ability to speak truth, wisdom and discipline into their child's life so that they can be best friends. Families are indeed struggling. The evidence of this fact is apparent when working with the elderly.

My father has often joked about the baby boomers' dedication to career and advancement at the expense of all else. "As soon as they were big enough, we stuffed our kids into facilities so that we were free again to climb the corporate ladder. Now we're old. What makes us think that our children won't do to us exactly what we did to them?" Turnabout, I suppose, is fair play. But as the famous maxim quips: An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.

Yesterday, Nelson Mandela passed away at the age of 95. While it would be intellectually dishonest of me to say that I applauded all of the things for which he stood,  the legacy for which he seems to be most remembered is one of forgiveness. After more than two decades of political imprisonment, he was able to rise above the vengeful politics which would have been completely understandable to all. Instead, he resolved to change the system. He knew that if the nation of South Africa were ever to change, he would have to be the first in line.

Few of the families in crisis with whom I speak are happy about their state of affairs. Most express strong sentiments of regret and a desire that "maybe one day things will be different." But nothing ever changes. One year turns to another and opportunities are forever lost. A new sort of cold war wages as everyone waits for someone else to make the first move. In the meantime, everyone freezes.

Christmas is at its core the celebration of the birth of Jesus of Nazareth. As a Christian, I believe that Jesus was who he claimed to be; the son of God and Savior of the world. Who you believe him to be is a matter of utmost importance and yet has little bearing on his legacy of forgiveness. Put to death by the most cruel means imaginable for crimes he did not commit, Jesus of Nazareth was the poster child for the wrongfully accused. Yet in the darkest hour of his execution, after being savagely beaten within an inch of his life, stripped naked and nailed onto a splintered cross, he forgave. He begged the God of heaven to forgive those responsible. He made the first move.

We celebrate the occasion of his birth this month. We celebrate the way he gave himself for us as the ultimate gift by exchanging presents with each other. We should further celebrate by honoring his legacy of forgiveness in the most dyer and seemingly hopeless of circumstances. Take the first step toward reconciliation this year knowing that Christmas is a season for the miraculous. Chances are that the long lost person in your life is just waiting on you to make the first move. Merry Christmas!

Tips to Fight the Winter Blues

I am hanging around. I have nothing to do but frown. Rainy days and Mondays (or any day for that matter) always get me down. Truer words may never have been spoken. For me, grey rainy days are the pits. Throw in a winter chill and the prospect of me sliding out from under my down comforter at 5:30am sounds less and less appealing. I am not typically a coffee drinker but at this time of year my morning coffee quickly becomes a necessity if I expect to even pretend to get any meaningful work done.

I am not alone.

The winter blues attempt to rob all of us of our holiday joy and seniors are not exempted from the list. If anything, they find themselves particularly susceptible. But there are steps that can be taken for you and the aging parent in your life so that you can hopefully beat the blues this Christmas.

1. Lace up your sneakers.

I have taken to doing this on Saturdays when there aren't a ton of mandatory things on my to-do list. Somehow just putting on my sneakers makes me feel sportier and more active. This trick has nothing to do with podiatry. It is really just a mental excuse to get moving. The more sedentary you are the more blah you're going to feel. So whether it's sneakers or just changing out of your pajamas before noon, do whatever it takes to get active. Your mind will follow your body's lead.
    
    2. Follow Dave Ramsey's advice.

Money is MAJOR contributor to winter blues. Financial demands around Christmas are taxing on your mind and body. Having a budget doesn't automatically multiply the pennies in your jar but having a handle on exactly where you are allows you to relax a little. So set a budget and stick to it. You still might not be able to afford that new Mercedes with a big red bow on the hood but you will be able to comfort yourself in knowing that the person driving it is probably too stressed out to enjoy it anyway. Tis the season!

    3. Put a Salad on the Table.

Nutritious foods feed both our minds and bodies. During the holidays, we tend to pay less attention to what goes into our bodies. A sweater does wonders to conceal a few extra pounds. Between parties and gatherings, fudge and cookies, it is no wonder that Santa's belly jiggles like a bowl full of jelly. The less balanced and nutritious your diet is the more susceptible your mind will be to the ups and DOWNS of the grey winter days. At Thanksgiving dinner this year, I insisted on putting a kale salad on the table. In an effort to be fair to all contributors, I always make sure to include a little (or a lot) of everything in the spread on my plate. Having the salad was a great reminder not to overdo it. Admittedly, I still overdid it but nowhere near as badly as in years past. If you are attending a party in the evening don't count the day as a total nutrition loss. Instead, focus on good choices during the day so that you don't feel guilty for that second helping of sausage balls.

    4. Booze It and You'll Blues It.

While alcohol may help us get to sleep it can also prevent us from actually getting restful sleep. I love a glass of single barrel bourbon as much as the next guy provided that the next guy really likes single barrel bourbon but if you aren't careful that holiday cocktail can ruin your next day. In this instance, it isn't about getting drunk and having a hangover. Alcohol can disrupt your body's natural sleep rhythms and prevent you from getting the rest you need. Can you have a second drink without becoming the slob of your office party and xeroxing your own derrier? Probably. Will you feel lousy tomorrow because you didn't get restful sleep? Also probably.

In a senior's life all of these issues are typically magnified. Staying active can be hampered by chronic conditions which are painfully worse during colder months. It is easy for me to lace up my sneakers on a Saturday morning but quite another matter for someone whose arthritis prevents them from being able to tie their shoes. Money woes are hardest to cope with for those on a fixed income. Nutrition is already an issue for most seniors and alcohol abuse/dependency dramatically escalates among the senior population during the Christmas season. For these and other problems there are no easy solutions. However, just being aware of these issues in your own life and the life of your aging parent is a great first step. If you are attempting to fight the winter blues, knowing is half the battle.

A Messy House at Christmas

As I have mentioned in this blog on many occasions, my wife and I have six boys. While I do not claim to be an expert father, there are several things that I can state with relative certainty.

1. Doing the laundry is a never-ending task.
The amount of clothing that six boys soil on a daily basis is worthy of mention as a potential cause of global warming. The alacrity with which they defile clean and folded piles of laundry is mesmerizing. If you have ever seen children playfully destroying a pile of leaves on an Autumn afternoon, then you have seen a picture of what my sons do to a pile of clean laundry each and every day. My wife often describes it as Groundhog Day.

2. Grownups are the only humans capable of flushing a toilet. The faux chrome handle on a toilet has apparently been ergonomically designed to make it impossible to be used by anyone under the age of 12. Whatever water we save by not flushing we use in futility to attempt to address the previous item on the list. I call it neutralizing our carbon footprint.

3. Clutter is the new order. "Ordo ab Chao." Out of chaos comes order. We live by these words. We live by them not as a life choice but mostly because in our lives we have no choice. In the popular Back to the Future movies of the 1980's, the danger in time traveling was that if you altered the past in some way you would create an alternate reality and thusly a paradox which would inescapably unravel the very fabric of the space time continuum. We live in that alternate reality.  And a flux capacitor doesn't help. Unless it could somehow help with the aforementioned laundry.

Growing up, my house was perfectly ordered at almost all times. I used to attribute that reality to a combination of my father being partially OCD and my wife and I's total failure as parents. I now realize that it was simply a numbers game. People in parenting circles talk about the huge difference between having 2 and 3 children. They talk about how much harder everything is once you are outnumbered as parents by your children. I think Jim Gaffigan said it best. "If you want to know what having 5 children is like just imagine that you're drowning...and someone hands you a baby." Messiness is relative.

Nevertheless, my parent's house remains impeccably clean. Each time we visit, I become aware of the pandemonium we bring to the party. That is the reality they live in and I love them for it. Whenever we arrive at their home, my wife and I often leave the children in the van in the driveway and just go inside and breathe in silence for a moment; knowing that all the pristine we see will shortly be destroyed by our spawn. Chao ab Minivan. Out of the minivan comes chaos.

Perhaps the difference between the way you keep your home and the way your parents keep theirs isn't that apparent. Regardless, you have a general idea of how your mom and dad keep their home on average. As you visit this holiday season, be sure to pay attention to changes in that process. If your aging parents are usually very particular about the way things are kept around the house and suddenly that isn't case then something could potentially be wrong. Keep in mind that what you see during a holiday visit is the E-harmony version of the truth. They have undoubtedly cleaned and prepared for your arrival. If bills are piling up, if laundry is piled up, if basic home maintenance and upkeep is being neglected then a conversation is probably in order. Growing older like having six small children is not for the faint of heart. Both stations in life require help from time to time. If you walked into my home and offered to help, it might be difficult to tell you exactly how you could. Only through conversation and observation would you be able to determine the best way to assist. (Reader hint: free babysitting) Similarly, seeing things are out of place in your parent's home won't automatically give you the answer for how to help. Spend some time getting to know what life is now like for them before you attempt to present potential solutions. The best Christmas gift you give them this year could simply be to look and listen.

Christmas-time to Talk

The Christmas season is upon us and it brings with it ubiquitous encounters with relatives of all shapes and sizes. Whether crazy Uncle Lou is set to stop by or whether you will be making the cross- country sleigh ride to your in-law's, one thing is certain, you will see some things that you don't see at any other time of year. In truth dear reader, I could regale you with stories of my own Christmases past that you would confidently state were scripts for an upcoming reality TV series. I digress.

For children of aging parents, Christmas visits often afford a much needed opportunity to put eyes on a situation that has likely changed since the last visit. While growing up, I can remember my mom's frustration with my brother and I's consistent answer of "Fine" whenever she would inquire about our day at school. I suppose turnabout is fair play because that is the same I answer I now get when checking in on her and my dad in Texas. At Home Instead, we have the opportunity to hear stories galore of adult children who come home for a visit during the Christmas holidays only to find that "Fine" isn't an accurate description.

As humans age our bodies change in a number of ways. I am no longer able to do the same things physically that I was able to doing my twenties. Correction, I probably could do them but it might require an ice pack and/or hospitalization after. Seniors are no exception. Some of the things that change as we age are our taste buds. This can bring about difficulties for seniors with regard to their diets.  A senior who is having difficulty tasting their food may overseason it with salt or other condiments which are detrimental to their health. In many instances, a senior may stop eating altogether or greatly reduce the amount of food they consume. In either instance, observing this change should be a relatively easy task. While the seasoning dilemma is worth a conversation, noticing that your aging parent has lost weight is a far more serious matter. Weight loss can be an indicator of a number of things. In the most optimistic of circumstances described above, it may simply be a result of not enjoying the task of eating. However, some weight loss may be caused by depression or more serious chronic conditions and illnesses.

So keep your eyes open this Christmas. What is in Mom's fridge? How much weight has Mom lost? How much Tabasco is Dad dumping into his soup? These can certainly be difficult conversations to have if approached indelicately. My best quick advice is to remember that questions are always better than answers. No one likes to be bossed around. Certainly no parent likes to be bossed around by their children of any age. Start by asking some questions and let the conversation take its natural course. Chances are it may be one of the most meaningful conversations you share this Christmas.

A Day of Thanksgiving

While much of the activity in our office is already revolving around our Be A Santa To A Senior Program, we have not forgotten Thanksgiving. We are, as a Home Instead Family, grateful for many things this year not the least of which are the opportunities we have had to touch people's lives through service.

While not only celebrated in the United States, I believe that Thanksgiving can be qualified as a uniquely American holiday. It is true that the Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving but most of their tradition didn't become commonplace until settlers from New England began to head northward during the American revolution. In Liberia, Grenada, Norfolk Island and Japan Thanksgiving has its roots in American influence. And we have much to be thankful for.

The Pilgrims are largely credited with establishing the tradition in the New World of giving thanks to God for all that he has done. They began to celebrate in this manner while still in England. They would hold fasts and festivals of thanks in order to praise God for giving them a good harvest or for giving them the strength to survive a plague or difficulty of some type.  It was only fitting that after they fled to the New World in order to have the freedom to worship in the way in which they chose, that they take the first opportunity they had to pay homage to God for blessing and protecting them.

In 1789,  President George Washington proclaimed the first nation-wide thanksgiving celebration in America, "as a day of public thanksgiving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favours of Almighty God." Somehow that last part has gotten lost through the years. We pause to give thanks for all the things that mean the most in our lives but to whom are we giving thanks. I told a friend of mine this morning that I was thankful for his friendship. That is an interesting concept. It presents our friendship as a gift that he has given me for which I am thankful. Grateful that I am, it is not deserving of a feast in his honor. Without an acknowledgement of divine influence, Thanksgiving appears to be a bit of an overkill. I am thankful for a roof over my head and a warm meal but I am not sending cards and flowers to the construction workers and grocers who actually made those physical dreams a reality. Rather I am thankful to God for giving me the abilities to be successful at work and for opening the doors to a work environment which allows me to showcase the talents with which he has enabled me. I believe that God has provided and continues to provide for my family in every way. I am thankful for that providence.

Thanksgiving affords me a great opportunity to tell the people in my life just how thankful I am for them. However, without an understanding of who wove our lives together in oftentimes unimaginable ways the thanks seems misguided at best. For example, I am thankful for the community of people whom I have recently come to know through Crossfit but I will not stop tomorrow to thank myself for joining Crossfit. Like so many other aspects of my life, there were a myriad of things that put that situation together and almost none of them I am able to take sole credit for. Some may chalk all of those those circumstances up to happenstance. Some may say that the "many and signal favours of Almighty God" are in reality nothing more than acts of chance. In that case, this holiday is pure idiocy. There is no reason to thank chance. If chance is truly to credit for all of the gifts that even the least fortunate of us have been given then Thanksgiving is nothing more than a excuse to overeat and watch football. Thanksgiving, like so many other things, makes little sense once God is taken out of it.

As a parent, I am teaching my boys to say "please" and "thank you." I am teaching them that there are two requirements for thanking someone. First, you must know what you are thanking someone for. Second, you must know who you are thanking. Perhaps we would all do well to remember the second part of that lesson this year.

"...Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done, and proclaim that his name is exalted." 

Isaiah 12:4

Happy Thanksgiving.

The Smoky Kitchen. More Stories of Being A Santa To A Senior.

I am not a "country boy." I did grow up in Texas but, in truth, my life has always been lived inside the city limits. I love the outdoors. I enjoy "roughing it." However, all of those things I enjoy as optional. I suspect that my affection would wane if there were not a hot shower and various other creature comforts waiting for me upon my return.

I confess that rural living has always held some appeal.  My wife and I enjoy watching the Food Network program The Pioneer Woman in part because of the idyllic farm life portrayed there: tons of kids, tons of cows, tons of land. It looks positively wonderful...at least on TV.

Delivering gifts to our Be A Santa To A Senior program recipients takes me to some similarly rural spots. Last year, I found myself driving to portions of Orange County that I was sure had yet to be seen by any cartographer. I suspected this because my trusty Garmin just kept repeating the phrase, "Recalculating, recalculating." One farmhouse in particular stood out to me in part because of its remote location and in part because of what I saw inside.

Each year people submit names of seniors to Home Instead Senior Care's Be A Santa To A Senior program who either don't have any family around or don't have the means to celebrate Christmas otherwise. These names are then placed on a tree along with gift suggestions or needs where members of the community can adopt a senior to whom to be a Santa.  The gift ideas are for the most part very practical: a warm scarf, a shaving kit, a bathrobe or towel. A few of the gift suggestions are curiously specific. This gift was one of those.

The home belonged to an elderly couple in their early 90's. The front door of the farmhouse was obstructed by fallen tree limbs which had apparently been there for quite a while. The door to the kitchen had since become the main entrance which wasn't an issue as hardly anyone ever came to visit. I wrapped my knuckles on the door frame and announced myself loudly. This far into the country I am always a little paranoid of getting shot for being on the wrong front porch:). A faint voice called out to come inside. The kitchen scene into which I entered seemed to be something out of the early nineteen hundreds. There was a long kitchen table covered in all manner of shrapnel. Someone had dropped of groceries recently and they remained in their Food Lion bags on the table. It's difficult to put groceries away when it hurts to stand. In the center of this kitchen was a wood burning stove with a metal chimney haphazardly angled to poke out through the top of a window next to the sink. Despite their efforts to insure proper ventilation, a smoky haze hung throughout the room and permeated everything it touched. One lone pot of lukewarm water sat on the corner of the stove while both husband and wife waited in front of it warming themselves and willing the water to boil.

Their gift was a large, unwieldy thing. She chose to be the one to unwrap it as his hands ached from the arthritis which had become his constant companion.  Their Santa had brought them an electric hotplate. Our conversation over the next few minutes showed me just how meaningful a gift this was.  The wood burning kitchen stove constituted the only heating apparatus in the house. The vast majority of their days this time of year were spent huddled around its iron body drinking in the warmth that it provided. Many times, they would elect to sleep in their chairs in the kitchen rather than brave the cold in the other rooms of this drafty old farmhouse. In addition to the physical heat it provided them, it was also the only manner in which they had to heat food since their last hotplate gave out on them...in September. There was a smattering of other gifts. A gift card for a local pharmacy to help them afford medications and a couple toboggan caps were greatly appreciated. But no gift stood out as much as the gift of a warm meal.

Before I left that day, she insisted on writing out a thank you card. Without the leg strength to get to the mailbox and with no money for postage, this was the only way to make sure that we were "thanked good and proper." As I trudged back down the muddy driveway to my car, I was reminded of just how much I take for granted. While the smoky smell of their kitchen stove lingered on my coat for only a few days, my eyes were forever opened just a bit wider to a world around me of people in need: people we can help if we'd just take the time.

Stories of Being a Santa to a Senior

I knocked on the door of her trailer carrying an armload of presents at about 2pm that afternoon. On the porch, there was a plastic lawnchair which hadn't been sat in at any point this decade and a large porcelain frog with its mouth full of stagnant rainwater and leaves. The glass storm door boasted a small sign the read "Peace on Earth" which was suction cupped to the window.  The grey cat standing guard never took her eyes off of me as I waited for someone to come to the door. I hadn't actually heard the bell ring and was about to press the button a second time when I heard someone from the back of the trailer say "Just a minute."

Each year, Home Instead Senior Care's Be A Santa To A Senior program brings Christmas to the less fortunate senior members of our community. Seniors who wouldn't have any gifts otherwise are nominated to have their names placed on a tree along with gift suggestions or needs. Members of the community then gather and wrap the gifts to be delivered during the week of Christmas. Giving the gifts is always one of the highlights of our holiday season.

When she finally came to the door, she immediately cupped her hands over her mouth in surprise. Tears began to fill her eyes as she saw the neatly wrapped, colorful packages in my arms. After regaining her composure, she cracked the door enough to be heard but not enough to let the cat out and said "I didn't think I was going to get a present this year. Can you come in for a moment while I open it?" After a few minutes of conversation and a cup of instant hot chocolate, I learned that this was not the only time she would have spent Christmas alone. A widowed mother of two, she had an estranged son living on the West Coast who refused to call or visit and a daughter who had passed away from cancer five years ago. There were no grandchildren to color works of art to adorn her refrigerator. She had outlived her siblings. There was no one left with whom to share the holidays. Since losing her drivers license several years ago, she had lived a life of solitude with her television as the only window to the world outside. This would have made her fourth Christmas alone in her trailer with no one to share a warm conversation and a hot cup of cocoa.

Her "Santa" had purchased for her a fuzzy pink bathrobe and some slippers for which she was tremendously grateful. In addition, there were some handwritten cards from her "Santa's" family which were immediately placed on the door of her almost empty fridge. Included in one of the cards was a $25 gift card to Harris Teeter.

"Is this mine?" She asked.
"Of course." I replied.
"I can do whatever I want with it?"
"Yes."
"I think I'll give it to my neighbor. Last week my heater stopped working and he was nice enough to come and help me fix it. I didn't have a way to pay him but I want to make sure he knows just how grateful I am."

Telling the story a year later, I still find myself moved. I knew that her cupboards were bare and that the closest thing to security she had was trusting that the good folks from Meals on Wheels would bring her warm food on Wednesday. She gave out of her poverty. I hope that her neighbor had someone with whom to share Christmas. I hope he wasn't alone. Most of all I hope he realized that out of all the gifts under his tree, hers was the most precious.

"And he sat down opposite the treasury and watched the people putting money into the offering box. Many rich people put in large sums. And a poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which make a penny. And he called his disciples to him and said to them, "Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the offering box. For they all gave out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on."" 

Mark 12:41-44  ESV

Opening the Door to Rationing Care

There are a host of topics to which I am particularly sensitive. Some people call them hot button issues. For instance, I detest the mentality which characterizes men as nothing more than bumbling oafs incapable of putting their pants on correctly. So prevalent is this thinking that it has become the punchline to many ad campaigns and the premise for entire sitcoms such as Everybody Loves Raymond. When I hear or read anything in that vain it makes my blood boil. Other people with other hot button issues may not even notice.

I was reading an article today and felt my blood begin to similarly boil over another of my hot button issues. The New York Times has a senior blog titled The New Old Age. It is a fascinating compilation of stories and articles related to aging and caregiving. Most of what I find there is top quality. Today's find left the door open to something I greatly fear.

This particular article was about trying to predict the aftermath of a fall. Falls are incredibly common among the elderly with one out of every three adults over the age of 65 taking a tumble each year. Falls are especially dangerous for the elderly due to lower bone density and thinner skin. Even a minor trip can be a life altering event for some seniors.

In the article, the author points to a study conducted by researchers at Yale who tracked almost 800 older adults over a period of 14 years. The subjects were tested and measured closely in order to track their levels of disability both before and after a fall. Not surprisingly, those individuals who were most active and had the least amount of impairment before a fall made the quickest and fullest recovery. Those who were physically struggling before posed a much greater challenge in terms of rehabilitation. All in all, the researchers found that predicting the aftermath of a fall was not a difficult task.

At this point in the article, I was still on board. I understand the realities of rehabilitation when it comes to seniors who are already struggling physically. At Home Instead Senior Care, encouraging an active independent lifestyle is at the core of what we do. It is critical not simply for the emotional benefits but also because of the physical resiliency it produces. However, there was one point in the article which really stood out to me and my hot button.

"With so little prospect of recovery for those with greater disability, however, “perhaps the goals of care should shift,” Dr. Gill suggested. Palliative care — helpful in reducing the pain that often accompanies fall injuries — might make more sense, while extended physical therapy might be of little help."

Let me first say that I am a strong advocate for palliative care. I have seen, first-hand, the blessing that palliative or comfort care can be in some of the most difficult situations.

To a passerby, this paragraph may not seem that insidious. It may not have even been intended in that manner. However, it is important to pair these remarks with the current socio-political climate regarding issues of aging in this country. We are facing unprecedented challenges. There are not enough facilities to house seniors who need significant living assistance. There are not enough hospital beds to accommodate the number of seniors facing chronic or traumatic illnesses. There are not enough geriatricians to treat the seniors desperately in need of doctors who understand the very different ways in which their bodies work. In short, something's gotta give. While the concept of rationing care has been recently tied to alarmist rhetoric, it is an almost certain reality unless substantial progress is made on these issues both in the United States and around the world.

To clarify, there are certainly times when an individual and their family must have the courage to acknowledge the trajectory of their situation. We do not have immortal bodies and at some point things just wear out. For some seniors, attempting an extensive rehab and physical therapy regime might not make sense. But each decision should be a personal one and not dictated by lack of availability or some economist telling a senior that they are too old or too frail to waste money on an attempted recovery.

Our seniors deserve better than a system whose only solution to dementia is confinement. They deserve better than being medicinally sedated when they become confused or unruly. They deserve a system which recognizes that dosing an octogenarian with narcotic pain relievers following a fall can have a life altering effect on a body that is no longer able to process those kinds of substances. All the way around, they deserve better.

Every day, I am blessed to partner with seniors who have refused to accept what the flawed system has presented them. They defy the overly-intelligent academics who attempt to dictate what their future will hold. They insist that a diminished quality of life is not an acceptable diagnosis. And they fight to prove to a increasingly doubting world that they still have worth and value despite their advancing years. This is their war and I am proud to fight by their side.

In truth, there is no perfect solution. There never will be. Life does not allow us that simplicity. It is, by its very nature, unpredictable. The journey is the adventure.. No study can predict it and it is to each person as unique as it is beautiful. How many adventures will we prevent by telling seniors to give up: that their journey has already ended?

To read the full article click here:  http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/11/15/predicting-a-falls-aftermath/?_r=0

Singing Showtunes Improve Cognitive Function For Seniors With Dementia

Personal confession time.

I love showtunes. I said it and I am not ashamed. If ever you drive by my home while I am mowing the lawn there is a 92.7% chance that I am minding my turf to strains of West Side Story. When you're a Jet you're a Jet all the way. There is almost always a song in my heart and frequently I feel compelled to share my heart song with those around me. Before today, I could only explain those unexpected songbursts by attempting to claim some rare form of Broadway Turret's. Now, I will sing unabashedly knowing the health benefits which new research proves are brought by singing showtunes.

Researchers at George Mason University conducted a study of two groups of seniors, one group with moderate dementia and another with a more advanced form which required them to be housed in a secured facility. In both groups, tests were administered to ensure that all of the participants in each group were at a similar cognitive level. Vocal music sessions were then held three times a week for 50 minutes at a time where half of the group was encouraged to sing along with songs such as The Sound of Music,  When You Wish Upon A Star, and Somewhere Over the Rainbow while the other half of the group just listened. After the sessions, researchers found that the test scores for the seniors who sang along with the showtunes rose far more dramatically than the scores for the seniors who simply listened.

The implications of this research are obviously profound. I would be interested in seeing further testing done using musical theater pieces of varying difficulty and studying the outcomes. I would theorize that a senior singing along to the brilliantly complex music created by Stephen Sondheim would fare better in the post session testing than a senior singing more simple tunes like those crafted by Andrew Lloyd Webber. I digress.

In conclusion, I would encourage you, dear reader, to crank up the showtunes and belt out the 11 o'clock number of your choice. When those around you look down their noses in disdain, simply look them directly in the eye and try singing this...





For more on the study see below.
http://www.abstractsonline.com/Plan/ViewAbstract.aspx?sKey=c3d1c2d8-065c-4b92-9533-b6e7685ce64a&cKey=72397e83-498c-4e27-a769-81275de1c9f5&mKey={8D2A5BEC-4825-4CD6-9439-B42BB151D1CF}

Dementia Dogs to the Rescue!

I love dogs. There is something about the unconditional love and acceptance that a dog gives that warms my heart. In senior care, many communities have begun to realize the benefits that dogs bring to their residents. Some facilities house a dog that lives on site and others will encourage outsiders to bring dogs in to visit their residents. In either instance, residents brighten up immediately whenever a dog walks into the room.

Increasingly, dogs are being used for a number of different service purposes. Dogs for the Disabled, Guide Dogs for the Blind, Dogs for Veterans, all offer tremendous benefits to their participants. At the Glasgow School of the Arts in Scotland, students came up with the idea of applying the concept of service dogs to dementia treatment. With help from Dogs for the Disabled, Alzheimer Scotland, and Guide Dogs Scotland, the students' idea is now becoming a reality.

'Dementia Dogs' are able to provide their owners with reminders to take their medications, they can help them wake up in the morning, etc. Additionally, one of the things that people with dementia suffer from is a difficulty communicating. The dogs don't mind if you tell the same story again or if your words don't come out in just the right order which makes them perfect companions. Dogs are also creatures that thrive on routine. And routine, for a person struggling with dementia, is tremendously important. Put it all together and you have a match made in heaven...or Scotland.





For more on this story: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-23270822

New Options for Senior Living

One of the blessings of working with seniors is the perspective it has given me on a number of things that people under the age of 50 typically don't spend much time thinking about. Having had daily, first hand experiences with the various senior living options available, I am more resolved than ever to stay on top of the direction my life will take as I age.

Thankfully, the options and resources available to seniors today are far more extensive than they were even ten years ago. From independent living communities, to group homes, to continuing care retirement communities, the game has changed for aging in this country. The game is changing still.

A new initiative in California has many in the aging community taking note. The North Hollywood Senior Arts Colony is a community in California comprised of seniors who have strong ties to the arts. Whether an artist, an aspiring artist, or someone who has been a long-time patron of the arts, the NoHo Senior Arts Colony offers seniors opportunities that they will find almost nowhere else.

Activities and classes include Zumba, painting, sculpting, poetry, writing, literature, song writing, drum circles, film making, and every other art you could possibly imagine. And all of their classes are taught by college-level professionals. In this community, the arts and creativity are common themes which unify the residents. One of the highlights of this imaginarium of possibilities is the presence of a professional working theater company, the Road Theater Company.

The NoHo Senior Arts Colony is the realization of a non-profit program gaining significant acclaim. "EngAGE is a nonprofit that takes a whole-person approach to creative and healthy aging by providing arts, wellness, lifelong learning, community building and intergenerational programs to thousands of seniors." EngAGE programs are provided onsite at senior apartment communities and are open to seniors from the surrounding community as long as there is room in the class.

There are several key components to an EngAGE program:

1. The class is offered at no cost to the senior.
2. The classes are all taught by college-level professionals.
3. The design of the classes is geared towards older adults. Seniors have a voice in how the classes and programs are put together through focus groups, surveys and meetings. This gives a real sense of ownership to the clients.
4. The classes are run like college courses and operate on a semester basis. This allows participants to advance through different levels of programs which fosters the desire to create and achieve lifelong learning goals.
5. The classes all culminate in some sort of event to allow the seniors to showcase their new skills such as art shows, poetry readings, staged performances or even radio broadcasts.

There are currently three senior arts colonies which showcase the pioneering work of EngAGE programs with several more in the planning phases. Perhaps one resident summed it best when she looked at her other options and said "I was seeing a lot of seniors just being seniors, not doing anything. I never liked the idea of getting old."

Read more at:
http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/columnist/brooks/2013/10/28/retirement-arts-writing-senior-theater/2954525/

Sit Up Straight! Bad Posture Increases Risk of Nursing Home Admission

I have never really paid much attention to my posture. Occasionally, I have become aware of the fact that I am slouching in my chair at work or in the car but otherwise I feel reasonably good about my body alignment. New research is proving that sitting up straight could, in addition to other benefits, reduce my risk of ending up in a nursing home.

A study published in the Journals of Gerontology says that having poor posture can as much as quadruple a person's risk of ending up in a nursing home. Several different factors lead into this.

1. Poor posture leads to weak muscles and bones. As balance decreases during a normal aging process, the risk of being seriously injured in a fall greatly increases.
2. Poor posture limits our flexibility. A less flexible person is not able to exercise and maintain an active lifestyle. Seniors with active lifestyles typically have smoother, controlled movements and are therefore less likely to fall and end up in a nursing home.
3. Bad posture leads to pain. Weaker muscles caused by bad posture many times lead to pain in the neck, back or legs. Often times, aches and pains like these are determined by how we sit and prevent us from being able to perform tasks for ourselves.

All in all, posture is a circular conversation. Those with bad posture will find themselves less able to exercise and maintain an active lifestyle due to their weaker muscles. Those with weaker muscles will find it more difficult to maintain good body posture. And around we go.

All in all, bad posture is both the harbinger and cause of an increased risk of nursing home admissions. So sit up straight!

Unconditional

Take three minutes and twenty three seconds out of your day and be in awe of love. This video is a beautiful picture of how we are called to love each other not only as spouses but as friends, neighbors, coworkers, strangers, and even enemies. We love because he first loved us. "You see God has loved us so unconditionally and I understand that God has put his love in my heart. And because I realize how much God has loved me that's how I too can love my lovely wife."

Potential Cure For Baldness From Somewhere You'd Never Suspect

In a story almost too strange to report, scientists feel that they are on the verge of finding a cure for baldness.

About half of men over the age of 50 go bald or develop male pattern baldness. Some of us(ahem), don't make it to fifty years of age before we begin to reap tremendous savings on  hair products and combs. To this point, there are very few remedies that can address the problem. There are medications which can slow the loss. There are transplant procedures which move hair growing skin from other parts of the body to your noggin. But there are no real solutions to the issue of hair loss.

In new research which was published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, scientists at the Columbia University Medical Center took their testing to a new level. Previously, most of the research being done involved transplanting hair follicles and attempting to make them grow. This yielded varying results which merited no real acclaim. So they decided to cultivate not just the follicles but the surrounding cells as well. Rather than transplanting singular follicles they cultured three dimensional spheres of cells and transplanted them upside down in human skin tissues.

This is where is gets a little bit weird.

They then grafted the human skin cells onto the backs of mice and were dazzled to see 5 of the 7 grafts produce hair that lasted at least six weeks. "The hairs were still small, but the researchers are encouraged because they used human skin that normally is completely hairless — the foreskins from circumcised babies. Essentially, they generated hair growth in cells that normally have no capacity for sprouting hair."


Yes, you read it right. I can't make this stuff up.

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2013/10/21/closer-to-a-cure-for-baldness/#ixzz2iYZyMmbH

Poor Sleep May Increase Risk For Alzheimer's

What happens when we sleep? We dream. We recover. We plan. We rest. During this all important 'down time' our brains and our bodies are flushing out toxins and chemicals in a manner which is impossible while we are awake. This is one reason why people tend to feel lousy if they haven't gotten enough sleep. I can remember my mom insisting that I go to bed early the night before a big test in high school. I didn't appreciate it much then. Nowadays, I would kill for a nap or an early bedtime. George Bernard Shaw was right. "Youth is wasted on the young."


In a recent study at Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health in Baltimore, scientists have made some fascinating discoveries regarding sleep and Alzheimer's. One of the brain's critical functions during sleep is to rid itself of toxic chemicals and proteins. One of these toxic proteins, Beta-Amyloid, is the protein which leads to the plaques and tangles of Alzheimer's disease. After studying 70 patients, scientists found that those who slept less or had lesser quality sleep had higher levels of beta-amyloid present in their brains.

Now begins the chicken and the egg conversation. Scientists are not sure whether poor quality sleep is an early indicator of Alzheimer's or whether those people with poor sleep habits are placing themselves at a greater risk of developing Alzheimer's disease. Those studies will almost certainly follow. For now, it should remind us all of the importance of getting a good night's rest.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2470255/Alzheimers-linked-poor-nights-sleep.html

Heavy Drinking Over Time Can Produce Alzheimer's-Like Symptoms

It might not be Alzheimer's. Part 1.

It's called the Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome and it is usually something that physicians look for in patients who have abused alcohol over long periods of time. However, you don't have to abuse alcohol to suffer from the affects of it.

Alcoholism causes thiamin deficiency. Thiamin is an essential vitamin in the brain which causes proper neuron function as well as aides in energy production. When there isn't enough thiamin present in the brain the neurons may become damaged and die.

 Individuals whose bodies don't absorb food nutrients properly are also at risk especially those who may have undergone surgery for obesity

"Most commonly, Wenicke-Korsakoff syndrome is seen in alcoholics because heavy drinkers typically are poor eaters. Alcohol also interferes with the proper absorption of nutrients from the digestive system."

Folks who suffer from Wernicke-Korsakoff will appear drunk even if they are not.

Symptoms include:

• confusion
• abnormal gait and eye movements
•  hallucinations
• vision problems
• memory loss
• imaginary remembered experiences
• incoordination 

Treatment options:
As soon as someone is diagnosed with this condition they need to be hospitalized so that they can receive treatment such as a thiamin replacement. Much of what might have been lost can be recovered such as eye movement, coordination,  and vision problems. Unfortunately, the loss of memory and cognitive function is not usually helped by thiamin replacement.

Prevention:
The best idea to prevent Wernicke-Korsakoff is to eat a healthy, well-balanced diet and not to abuse alcohol. If you follow that suggestion then doctors believe that your chances of ever developing the syndrome are virtually nonexistent. However, if you have any sort of malabsorption problems it might not hurt to have a conversation with your physician.

New Program Pairs Seniors with Dementia and Preschoolers

A special program in New York is pairing elders with dementia and young people. At a custom-designed facility in Mt.Kisco, New York, seniors who are struggling with dementia spend their days working with preschoolers. "The kids look right past the dementia, connecting instead with the people who have gotten lost underneath."

"My Little Friends," directed by Megan Mylan from David Shenk on Vimeo.

A Possible Cure For Alzheimer's AND Parkinson's AND Huntington's?

Gone are the days of sensational headlines created only to assist newspaper hucksters in their quest sell the most copies. Well...wait...uhm...

News broke early this morning about an exciting discovery in the world of science. A chemical has been discovered which has been shown to stop brain deterioration. Let me say that again. The chemical stops the deterioration of the brain.

Every day it seems like there is someone new standing on a rooftop claiming that their vitamin or food additive or diet program or brain therapy is the next big thing in the fight against Alzheimer's. These outrageous claims are typically only rivaled by the ever-increasing list of foods, chemicals, technologies, and TV programs that we should avoid because they undoubtedly cause Alzheimer's. In Reality-ville, where I live most of the time, no one knows what causes Alzheimer's and no one knows how to stop it.

However, when all of the people who typically disregard Chicken Little start looking up at the sky it is worth taking notice.

In Alzheimer's and Parkinson's and Huntington's diseases, something goes wrong with specific proteins in the brain. The brain's natural response to this foul up is to stop producing proteins. This "chemical helps brain cells ignore the broken proteins, keep functioning and stay alive."

Perhaps what is so exciting about this discovery are the potential ramifications of the chemical. While scientists are quick to caution that even if successful it could still be a decade before it is available, there is a distinct possibility that they have have found a way to beat Alzheimer's, Parkinson's and Huntington's. And that is worth shouting about.

So EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT!!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-24478942

Preventing Alzheimer's. Is It About to Become a Reality?

Scientists at the Center for Alzheimer's Research and Treatment at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston are about to embark on one of the most anticipated, longest Alzheimer's drug studies in history. The study will be conducted on 1,000 subjects over a three year period at a cost of well more than $100 million. They are just hoping they can find enough people.

The folks they are looking for must already have amyloid building up in their brains but aren't currently showing any symptoms of Alzheimer's. The idea is to treat the amyloid proteins with an experimental drug before they become toxic and turn into the dreaded plaques and tangles that scientists have been battling for years in the fight against Alzheimer's disease.

In order to find the 1,000 participants, the directors of the study anticipate that they will  need to screen about 5,000 people throughout the United States and Canada. They are also exploring the possibility of a site in Australia. To qualify, participants in the study must be at least 65 yrs old, willing to take a drug or placebo, willing to get a genetics test, willing to have a brain scan done twice a year, and willing to answer all kinds of questions about every facet of how they live their lives.

In previous clinical trials, the drug being tested showed promise in slowing the effects of mid-stage Alzheimer's symptoms. This success, in addition to the size and scope of the study, has turned a number of heads in the scientific community who will be watching the results very carefully.

One of the frustrating aspects of dealing with the disease is that most of the work is being done in the proverbial rear-view mirror. Since there is no way to predict where the disease will appear, scientists are forced to study patients who have already begun to manifest symptoms. The hope of this new study is that it will give doctors a glimpse at not only the effectiveness of the new drug but also a window into the way the disease develops. Perhaps it will at last show them how to prevent the disease from developing entirely. Perhaps.

http://capeandislands.org/post/new-study-will-test-possibility-preventing-alzheimers

The Heart of Home Instead

Allow me the privilege of bragging on my people for a moment.


From the beginning of my journey with Home Instead, I have been blessed to be surrounded with fantastic people. I have worked to intentionally create a culture in which exceeding the expectations of everyone you encounter is the way we do business. This is much easier to do when the people who comprise your family come already equipped with a heart for service. Despite six years of watching caregivers and office staff go above and beyond for their clients, there are still days like today when I come across someone doing something for a client that takes my breath away.

One of the clients we serve has an immediate family member who has recently been diagnosed with cancer. In this instance, it appears that the cancer was detected early enough to be treated successfully with surgery and chemotherapy. Nevertheless, anyone who's life has been touched by cancer can tell you that just hearing that ugly word is terrifying regardless of the prognosis for recovery. My thought upon hearing the news was that we need to send a nice 'get well soon' card and perhaps some flowers. Lenore, our staffing coordinator, had other ideas. She approached me about the possibility of putting together a chemo bag to be taken into the treatment room. Chemotherapy can be an hours long affair where many have nothing to do aside from reading a magazine and contemplating the ominous nature of their affliction. I told Lenore that a chemo bag sounded like a wonderful idea and that I was excited to see what she came up with.

When the bag was completed, it was a thing of beauty. Full of knick-knacks like crossword books, an aromatherapy shrug, comfy socks, peppermint candies, a throw blanket, etc. There was, however, one thing in the bag which didn't make any sense to me. Included in the collection was a package of plastic forks, spoons, and knives. What? I asked Lenore about this particular item and she was fully prepared to answer. "I did some research on some common side effects from chemotherapy. Many people complain about a metallic taste in their mouth which is only made worse by using regular forks and knives to eat. A lot of people have found that using plastic utensils during chemotherapy helps out tremendously. Is that ok that I put that in?"

Are you kidding me? A member of my office staff took it upon herself to not only put together a chemo bag for the family member of a client but actually did research into common side effects of chemotherapy and solutions. Wow.

That, dear readers, is the heart of Home Instead. That is the company that I always hoped we would be and that it seems we have indeed become. That is the way that we are called to love and care for the people of our community. Selflessly. Thoughtfully. Sincerely. That is Home Instead.

Thank you Lenore. I am proud to call you a member of our Home Instead family.

One Thing That Made My Blood Boil

Government shutdown? Fine. Shut it down. At this point, I don't care for the politicians from either party but that is beside the point.

My heart warmed yesterday when I read the story of the World War II veterans who refused to be turned away by fences and barricades in their attempt to view the monument erected in their honor. "We stormed the beaches in Normandy. I think we can handle their fence." Bravo. There is no reason that these brave men should have been denied the opportunity to see their monument.

Honor Flight is a fantastic organization that coordinates and provides for trips such as these every day. An estimated 800 WWII vets pass away each day and the mission of Honor Flight is to make the dream of seeing the WWII memorial a reality for as many as possible. Honor Flight is a non-profit organization and there is no cost for a veteran to participate.

Over the next five days, Honor Flight has scheduled to bring an estimated 900 vets to view their memorial. Many of those trips may now be cancelled after learning late Wednesday that the vets could face arrest if they dare to cross the barricade again. When I first read the article my blood boiled. It sounded like something out of Les Miserables and not an actual policy of the federal government. I worked to calm myself and think of the ways that taking action like this may have been necessary. Breathe in. Breathe out. Calming thoughts. Whoosaaaa....

No good.

I became further incensed upon reading that in previous shutdowns the memorials and monuments had all been left open save the federal employees manning the various visitor's centers and information kiosks. That means that someone made the decision to hang signs and erect barricades. Additionally, the latest reports indicated that the WWII memorial in particular was now being guarded by eight mounted park officials. EIGHT. That is more staff than is typically required for a normal day of operation. Allow me to sum this mess up. The United States government decided to close the WWII memorial as a result of the government shutdown supposedly due to a lack of funding and then proceeded to erect barricades($$) and place mounted guards(more $$) throughout the park to protect it from the people who wanted to see it. It certainly seems that the government was more than willing to spend money in order to make a political point. When park officials were asked who had directed them to shut down the park and arrest any "trespassers" they responded- The White House Office of Management and Budget.

Silver Lining: Apparently, news of this story spread like wildfire since Wednesday evening when it first broke. At first, the White House ordered more barricades and fences to be erected and increased the number of parks employees who would be "protecting" the memorials from almost certain destruction at the hands of octogenarian heroes (please read sarcasm here). Once the Congress and Senate got wind of what was going on, members of both parties headed right over for some photo ops with the vets and to blame the others for causing the shutdown which was in theory preventing them from seeing their memorial. In the end, it seems that the crowds blatantly ignored what the politicians in Washington DC tried to do and enjoyed their day at the memorial. The Senators, Congressman, and President ended up looking like the petulant children that they are. The WWII veterans were treated with the respect that they deserve and the American people remembered that there are some things for which we don't the government's permission.

http://americanmilitarynews.com/2013/10/ww2-vets-face-arrest-for-visiting-their-memorial/

A Cure for What Ails Many Parkinson's Patients

Recently, I met with a group of team leaders for the upcoming, Moving Day. Moving Day is an event which benefits the National Parkinson's Foundation and has recently been making local headlines as we approach our very first Moving Day event to be held on November 2 at the Koka Booth Amphitheater in Cary. The team kickoff event was everything I hoped it would be; full of tear filled stories, and unflagging optimism in the face of a terrible challenge. At one point, as is often the case, Michael J.Fox's name came up. I have found there to be a general gratitude among the Parkinson's community for the awareness he has brought to a disease which for a long time has lurked in the shadows despite the overwhelming number of people diagnosed. There is, however, some frustration, with Fox's foundation and some of the attention that he has brought to Parkinson's disease. That frustration appears to be that people assume that what Michael J. Fox struggles with is indicative of ALL Parkinson's patients. That is simply not the case. Parkinson's, much like Alzheimer's disease, affects each person in a dramatically different manner. People who don't know this incorrectly assume that everyone with Parkinson's must shake uncontrollably. If the physical manifestation of this assumed characteristic isn't present then the person is driven to make other and even more incorrect asumptions about the severity of the person's Parkinson's or how far the disease has thusfar progressed. Ignorance.

That being said, there are some common themes that many people struggling with Parkinson's experience. Among them, the loss of dexterity. Simple tasks like opening a jar or buttoning a shirt can become incredibly difficult. For former NC State Football Coach, Don Horton, that moment came during an away game when time was of the essence. Fortunately, former NC State Quarterback Russell Wilson, noticed Horton's difficulty buttoning his shirt and stepped in to lend a hand. When Don Horton returned home he opened up about the trouble he had had to his wife, a former children's clothing designer, and an idea was born.

MagnaReady Shirts are men's dress shirts equipped with magnets in place of buttons to make getting dressed easier for people struggling with Parkinson's and any number of other disabilities. From the outside they look like an ordinary dress shirt complete with buttons and all. The best attribute of this shirt is something that you will hopefully never notice.

There is currently no cure for Parkinson's but MagnaReady Shirts offer the next best thing; a daily victory in the battle for independence.

 http://www.newsobserver.com/2013/03/29/2788830/husbands-parkinsons-disease-inspires.html

Yes, I Am a Total Nerd.

I have never shied away from my identity as a nerd. My wife enjoys teasing me about many of the idiosyncrasies that comprise this peculiar person that I am. In high school, one of my best friends and I defiantly drove across the Texas desert with the sunroof open in my Saturn SC2, blaring the soundtrack to Apollo13 so loudly that one of the rear speakers blew out during the launch sequence. Rebels. I own, and have listened to frequently, John Tesh's Live at the Red Rocks album. Hardcore. Within the last twenty four hours, I have worked out to the pounding rhythms of Stephen Sondheim's Sunday in the Park With George. When I was a given a Sony Discman for my birthday many years ago, my first two CD purchases were Beethoven's 5th Symphony and Kenny G. (Ok I guess that one may have taken it a bit too far.) If my wife were contributing to this I have no doubt that she would have several descriptive scenarios to add. Regardless, I am in fact a nerd.

It stands to reason that I get excited about nerd things. For instance, Home Instead Senior Care has just launched an Alzheimer's and Other Dementia app for iphone users which is AMAZING. As you may or may not know, September is World Alzheimer's Awareness Month and we have been out doing our best to educate the masses. Our family caregiver educational program not only highlights the different types of dementia but prepares families for "real world" situations that they face each and every day. While it may be frustrating to listen to someone with dementia tell the same story over and over again we found that most of our families really just needed help with things like getting their loved one to take a bath. This new app is beautifully organized to give families quick information when they are facing difficult behaviors. The situations are all laid out by category and contain quick tips and suggestions when those difficult moments arise. Additionally, there are great opportunities to leave feedback, encouragement, and tips of your own for other caregivers who are facing some of the same challenges.

This app is an extension of a new book, Confidence to Care: A Resource for Family Caregivers Providing Alzheimer's Disease or Other Dementias Care at Home, which was written by my good friend Molly Carpenter. Molly has been at the forefront of Home Instead's pioneering work on Alzheimer's education. It is exciting to be a part of a company that is not only putting out phenomenal free resources in the fight against Alzheimer's but also to be a part of a company that recognizes the many different vehicles which must now carry information to the public. Nerds everywhere rejoice! There's now an app for that.

New Scam Scare Tactics

I have often said that people who scam seniors are among the lowest form of human beings, if even you would qualify them as such. I am proud to say that Home Instead Senior Care has been diligent in their efforts to educate seniors and their families through our Senior Fraud Protection Kit and community education classes.

Sadly, the most painful fraud cases are instances where someone whom the senior knows exploits their trust for profit. More horrendous still are the stories of people who engage seniors and gain their trust for the sole purpose of exploiting them for personal gain. I suppose the theory is that you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Not so any longer.

Con artists have now come to the realization that they can more easily rob a senior by scare tactics and intimidation that by bothering to pretend to care. There are three of these new tactics which are worth mentioning and speaking to your senior loved ones about.

The first tactic is a plain and simple death threat. This sounds like something out of mobster movie but it is reality. An extortionist will tell a senior that a contract has been placed on their life and the only way to avoid getting whacked is to pay a premium. While this may sound ridiculously far fetched, consider the more than 1300 people who reported this crime in 2012 at a cost of over $2 million.

Secondly, an official looking person claiming to be from Social Security, Medicare, the police, etc. will show up at a senior's front door and demand immediate payment for a supposed fine. In some instances they use this tactic to simply gather personal data and financial data but most recently it is a direct push for actual payment.

The final and most prominent of the top three is the utility shakedown. A "utility worker" will show up and threaten to shut off utility services. This is an especially devastating threat during the winter and summer months when utilities can be an issue of survival in many parts of the county.

My hope is that one of these con-artists shows up on my front door step and tells me that there is a contract out on my life. On behalf of seniors and their families everywhere, I will happily turn the tables on him. I'll give him one for the Gipper!

http://www.aarp.org/money/scams-fraud/info-08-2013/con-artists-use-fear-to-intimidate.html?intcmp=HP-spot2L