Monday, December 2, 2013

Christmas-time to Talk

http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/health/womens-health/aging-parents-care

The Christmas season is upon us and it brings with it ubiquitous encounters with relatives of all shapes and sizes. Whether crazy Uncle Lou is set to stop by or whether you will be making the cross- country sleigh ride to your in-law's, one thing is certain, you will see some things that you don't see at any other time of year. In truth dear reader, I could regale you with stories of my own Christmases past that you would confidently state were scripts for an upcoming reality TV series. I digress.

For children of aging parents, Christmas visits often afford a much needed opportunity to put eyes on a situation that has likely changed since the last visit. While growing up, I can remember my mom's frustration with my brother and I's consistent answer of "Fine" whenever she would inquire about our day at school. I suppose turnabout is fair play because that is the same I answer I now get when checking in on her and my dad in Texas. At Home Instead, we have the opportunity to hear stories galore of adult children who come home for a visit during the Christmas holidays only to find that "Fine" isn't an accurate description.

As humans age our bodies change in a number of ways. I am no longer able to do the same things physically that I was able to doing my twenties. Correction, I probably could do them but it might require an ice pack and/or hospitalization after. Seniors are no exception. Some of the things that change as we age are our taste buds. This can bring about difficulties for seniors with regard to their diets.  A senior who is having difficulty tasting their food may overseason it with salt or other condiments which are detrimental to their health. In many instances, a senior may stop eating altogether or greatly reduce the amount of food they consume. In either instance, observing this change should be a relatively easy task. While the seasoning dilemma is worth a conversation, noticing that your aging parent has lost weight is a far more serious matter. Weight loss can be an indicator of a number of things. In the most optimistic of circumstances described above, it may simply be a result of not enjoying the task of eating. However, some weight loss may be caused by depression or more serious chronic conditions and illnesses.

So keep your eyes open this Christmas. What is in Mom's fridge? How much weight has Mom lost? How much Tabasco is Dad dumping into his soup? These can certainly be difficult conversations to have if approached indelicately. My best quick advice is to remember that questions are always better than answers. No one likes to be bossed around. Certainly no parent likes to be bossed around by their children of any age. Start by asking some questions and let the conversation take its natural course. Chances are it may be one of the most meaningful conversations you share this Christmas.

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