Tuesday, March 3, 2015

The Lesson of Daffodils.


I stood in my living room this morning looking out at the world. Dead leaves. Dead grass. Mud colored snow that had yet to melt away. No matter which direction I looked, the evidence of life was hidden from me; slumbering under a blanket of somber beige. There was dreary everywhere, everywhere except for my neighbors mailbox. There, in the midst of all this drab, were bright green shoots of daffodils already beginning to make their ascent toward spring.

It is a lesson I learn every year. Every spring I promise myself that next year my yard, my garden, my mailbox will host these optimistic plants. I make resolutions that I will plan ahead and plant before the ground freezes so that the happy daffodils will be there to greet me long before the rest of the world has begun to thaw. But then...life happens.

Stuff gets in the way. Good stuff. Important stuff. Necessary stuff. Stuff distracts me from the relatively simple task of putting some bulbs in the ground. As a result, I stand in my living room after an endless week of snow and ice looking for daffodils which I have neglected to plant...again.

I recently visited with a couple who is doing their best to care for each other without the benefits of any family to assist. With both spouses approaching their 90's, the fact that they have been able to live independently for as long as they have is nothing short of amazing. Unfortunately, as in so many cases, an event took place a few weeks ago which has changed the trajectory of their journey. One spouse gave too much and ended up paying the price of her own health. Now they are separated from each other in every way. Questions abound. Who will care for him while she recovers? Who will manage finances while she is away? Who will manage the many prescriptions and dietary needs that need daily tending? So many questions that needed to have been answered long before are now left to be decided by friends and neighbors. However well intentioned, this remarkable couple is on the verge of losing the one thing they fought so long and hard to retain: control over their own lives.

The warnings were there year after year. Make a plan. Designate a POA. Establish advance directives. Write a will. But then...life happened. Stuff got in the way. Good stuff. Important stuff. Necessary stuff.

And the daffodils are their remind the rest of us every spring.


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